[Stress Relief I <-- clicky]
Mustafa: Fadhel, we need you to run a security screening test for us.
Fadhel Al-Maliki: No prob. What are we doing this time? Box cutters again?
Mustafa: No, we need to see if we can get a guy with explosives hidden in his ass on to a plane. We need for you to do a test run.
Fadhel Al-Maliki: Why choose me? Have the guys been talking again...
Mustafa: Look, Fadhel, we need your expertise in this area. Now you're going to need a good cover story in case you're caught. We're going to use a rock to simulate the explosive, and a piece of metal to simulate the battery for the detonator. We'll run a couple of wires from it out of your ass that would be used to activate the detonator. Aziza came up with the idea to use a magnet for the metal. If you're caught, your cover is that this is some kind of new-age relaxation device.
Fadhel Al-Maliki: Great idea. And we can say the rock is from another planet. That will make me look even crazier. Besides, half of these Americans believe in that kind of stuff anyway.
Mustafa: Right. If you do get caught, just act embarrassed and humble, and everything should be OK. We'll use a piece of chewing gum to attach the magnet to the rock. It's non-toxic, and will add to the strangeness of the device. No one will think a terrorist would do something as odd as that.
Fadhel Al-Maliki: Exactly. But Mustafa, don't you think the wires coming out of my ass will be a give-away to the true nature of this device?
Mustafa: Look, Fadhel, unless you've got a Lite-Brite shoved up there, no one's going to think twice about it. That's just the way these Americans are. Trust me.
[BDW Guest Post #2 today - thanks, Dafe!]
