3.23.2007

Basketball Analogy - Correction

"What's funny is that I meant the other guy."

-RW

Oh.

You mean the guy who gets a little hip check, or takes what could be a questionable charge (the kind of call never called on the playground else you're called a pussy), and then he falls backwards like his eye has been torn out of its socket. You know the guy, the guy who just had his arm completely ripped off his torso by a grizzly. The guy hit by the runaway semi while crossing on the green light in the crosswalk (driver is obviously a racist - and drunk!).

The befouled dude is flopping around on the court like a fish in a dory, his big ass mama comes out of the stands with her shoe in her hand to beat the fouler. Dude's "cousin" shows up with posse and a bucket of water a wet cloth to dab the forehead of the injured, his teammates bring out the James Brown cape, he's down, but NO! He's up again!

And the crowd goes ape shit.

Pallbearers appear with dark suits and white gloves carrying a shiny brass coffin. The mama and "cousin" are taunting the fouler saying stuff like, "wut up, beeoch? Want summa dis, muthafucka?" Mama is sobbing, "Whyyyyyyyy Jesus! My bayyyybeeee! Noooooooooo!" An angel repels from the scoreboard. A gospel choir sings Amazing Grace.

There's a beating, some gunplay, cops are called.... Then! The guy gets up, krumpin', clownin', breakin'. Looking around like, what happened? Let's play!

The refs watch for about three minutes before resuming game play. The crowd is spent.