Scientology - UPDATE

I received this note this morning from the dearest of friends. It's not that he was trying to convince me of any nuances here, but he--bless him--just needed to say it. And I couldn't resist the temptation to annotate (anoint?).

Why? Because his statement is so true, and sometimes the truth is frustrating (but will set you free). Here's the note:

"I don't know what Scientologists believe. Something about Martians and DC-10s. Something totally stupid and retarded. People knock it because it's so ridiculous false. Fine. I agree. Scientology is ridiculous.

But here's the thing. Some story about Martians and DC-10s is no more ridiculous than a story about a virgin who gives birth to a child who becomes a carpenter and then is killed but then comes back to life and then turns out to be the son of god. Or some old guy getting tablets from god on a mountain from god that says what you can and cannot do.

Or whatever ridiculous story Muslims believe. Or Mormons.

So before people go bashing Scientology, just remember that they're ALL ridiculous."

Each religion and denomination has its version of THE story. The Jews only eat approved foods. The Pentecostals don't dance but do "speak in tongues"...to snakes. Lots of religions cut the skin off of little boy penises because a 99 year-old "Abraham" circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. Because Yanto, Zeus, Khnum, Hekatonkheires, Jesus, Kurma, and David Koresh said so. So be it.

Some religious practices that vary according to their version of THE story:

Temple garments and baptism of the dead? Mormonism.

E-meter? Scientology.

Exorcism? Catholicism.

Kaparot? Judaism.

Dowry? Hindu.

Niqab? Islam.

Refusal of transfusions? Jehovah's Witness.

For example, of course. There's so much more. So much more. Enough to boggle the mind or start endless wars or to develop special little slogans like "God Hates Fags."

Anyway, before we condemn the Chinese government as some sort of "godless empire" or before we again force Barack Obama publicly claim Jesus Christ as his very own personal savior, remember that all this religion jazz is only ridiculous interpretations of a really old, baseless story.

And the planet is only about 4,000 years old created by an intelligent designer (I LOVE it when the so-called "good christian" has the nerve to call Scientology or Mormonism a "cult." Hello? Have you seen your "papa" lately? He wears an 11,000 year-old dress. And that's the least of your problems).

Thanks, mopes.

------------ UPDATE ------------

Trial Starts in La. Church Sex Case

By MARY FOSTER Associated Press Writer

Nov 27th, 2007 | AMITE, La. -- Jury selection began Tuesday for one of seven members of a now-defunct south Louisiana church accused of having sex with children as part of occult rituals.

Austin "Trey" Bernard III, 39, who was a member of Hosanna Church in Ponchatoula, is accused of one count of aggravated rape of a 2-year-old girl in 2002. Conviction would mean life in prison since prosecutors decided against seeking the death penalty.

About 80 potential jurors showed up at the courthouse.

Bernard, of Hammond, is one of seven Hosanna members indicted in 2005 on charges of having sex with children. The case also includes allegations of the ritual killings of dogs and cats.

Allegations that two boys and one girl were abused were at the center of the 2005 investigation, but Bernard faces charges only for allegedly abusing the girl.

The girl is not expected to testify.

State District Judge Doug Hughes said he expects the trial to last four or five days, but Bernard's lawyer, public defender Al Bensabat, said it will be difficult to get a jury in Tangipahoa Parish, where the case has drawn extensive publicity. "It's been tried in the press for two years," Bensabat said.

The other six defendants are free on bail and awaiting trial dates.