7.29.2005
7.28.2005
August?
When the fuck did it become August? I mean, it's like July 28, but that's August (like my wife's birthday of August 31 is September).
I was just hating Independence Day ("forth of Juuly, yeeee-haw!") and now it's Fucking August.
I must have cancer.
I was just hating Independence Day ("forth of Juuly, yeeee-haw!") and now it's Fucking August.
I must have cancer.
7.25.2005
Funny Motherfucking Shit
"This is some funny motherfucking shit, motherfucker. Fuck. Happy Mother Fucking Summer."
-Rich Walkling, Summer 2005
[Google planting: posting shit so that when other people Google you, they find the trails you set. I just made this up]
-Rich Walkling, Summer 2005
[Google planting: posting shit so that when other people Google you, they find the trails you set. I just made this up]
7.22.2005
7.20.2005
This is Not a Poem to Get Ass
This is not a poem to get ass... This is a poem for the daughter that I [just had].
This is so I won't forget the pillars of my youth, so that her sunlight can be balanced between them.
This is for the daughter that I will have one day.
For the moments when the world says that she cannot play because she does not have something dangling between her legs.
This is to tell her that the only one she needs to open her legs for is for herself, when she stands up and walks; back high, chin up.
This is for the girl that will come into this world, pushed forward by her mother and pulled up by her father.
The girl that will grow up with alphabets and soap, and poems in her ear.
The girl that will be the greatest poem I will have ever written.
This is a poem for the daughter that I will paint with.
I will teach her how to throw a Frisbee and how to put her mind onto paper with letters and pencils.
I will teach her to be afraid of the dark, but to be able to walk through it when she needs to.
This is the poem that I will hold up for her to read when I cannot speak from the pride I feel when she walks, when she ties a shoelace, when she simply breathes.
This is the poem that will be there to hold my daughter's hand if I am, one day, not able to.
This is to let her know that these arms will always be holding her up at the water fountain, no matter how tall she gets.
This is to tell her that nothing is perfect; that we all make mistakes and she should strive to make enormous ones so that she can grow enormously.
This is the poem to tell her that it is better to love every person, than to wait for one person to love you.
That even if that one person never says it, that this poem will be the blanket to calm her trembles.
It is to tell a little girl that one day the sun will fill her eyes.
And on that day, all my days will be filled with her.
This is to teach her to look both ways before she crosses the street, but to not let anyone see her do it.
This is to teach her to live life on the edge, but to make sure that there is a trampoline on one side, and if there isn't, one side will always have the sky on it .
And to laugh into it even as she falls.
I will teach her that there are moments when the only person that will suffice is one's self.
I will teach her that having others in your life, though, is a precious thing.
And that friends are never a commodity, but rather, one's lungs.
I will teach her to eat ice cream whenever she has the desire to and to always have the desire to share it.
And though all the girls right now are thinking, "Gosh, he's writing about the daughter that we could have together; I'd better give him some."
And all the guys are thinking, "I wish I'd written that poem, 'cause with that poem, he's gonna get some."
And though this poem may not or may have gotten the author "some" is inconsequential because, contrary to belief, this is not a poem to get ass.
This is not a poem to pick up women or acquire phone numbers
Or to razzle and dazzle the opposite sex's sensitive side.
This poem is not for anyone but the one who is yet to come
The sun that will finally make my moon burst
The water that my storms are carrying
The steps that I will take to bring a song that is too beautiful to put into words
So for now, may these suffice.
To the daughter who will prove to me that my life was worth it, because I put at least one beautiful thing into a crazy world.
I am writing this poem now, so that when you ask me to dance, I will always remember to say yes.
_________________
- Anis Mojgani
7.19.2005
Us vs. Them
“All their lives they’re being disciplined. When you’re born or when you’re one or two or three, you’re an uncivilized creature. And from that age, right up to twelve or fifteen, if you are going to become civilized and become a member of the community, you’re going to have to be disciplined. Severely. Stop eating with your fingers and spitting on the floor and swearing and anything else you want to mention. And who does this disciplining? It is two people. It’s the parents. . . . Although the child loves her mother and father, they are subconsciously the enemy. There’s a fine line, I think, between loving your parents deeply and resenting them.”
-Roald Dahl, 1988
7.18.2005
Perfection Through Aging
Rich,
So, I've just listened to the track "The French Mistake" that I put on the LA Black record. I've listened to it three consecutive times just now.
It's a portion of that Velvet Lounge improv set we did - shot out of our asses in 1998 or so. The one where I borrowed the floor tom from Charlotteville's The French Mistake. This is the same set that TTBOTT's "La Erreur Frances" originates.
Brilliant? Fuck yeah. But, what is amazing is that it is flawless. Truly. Upon listening to it numerous times, and knowing what's around the corner...it makes the fuck sense. What?! It's not that we listened to each other - for about 40 minutes, we were each other.
This was the height of tKoL. Nobody does this. Live? WTF? Not only was it the height, it was way too fucking bold. Who has balls like that? It was hugely ballsy.
And, of anyone on the planet to witness it, it Gabe sitting there waiting for "Gay and Mexican." Not Dan. Not Marcus. Not Big Dave Wave. Not Jamie. Gabe, who couldn't even buy a beer because he didn't have an ID.
It's now my turn - ME - to say: you can't do that; it breaks all the rules!
Life is funny.
-ty
So, I've just listened to the track "The French Mistake" that I put on the LA Black record. I've listened to it three consecutive times just now.
It's a portion of that Velvet Lounge improv set we did - shot out of our asses in 1998 or so. The one where I borrowed the floor tom from Charlotteville's The French Mistake. This is the same set that TTBOTT's "La Erreur Frances" originates.
Brilliant? Fuck yeah. But, what is amazing is that it is flawless. Truly. Upon listening to it numerous times, and knowing what's around the corner...it makes the fuck sense. What?! It's not that we listened to each other - for about 40 minutes, we were each other.
This was the height of tKoL. Nobody does this. Live? WTF? Not only was it the height, it was way too fucking bold. Who has balls like that? It was hugely ballsy.
And, of anyone on the planet to witness it, it Gabe sitting there waiting for "Gay and Mexican." Not Dan. Not Marcus. Not Big Dave Wave. Not Jamie. Gabe, who couldn't even buy a beer because he didn't have an ID.
It's now my turn - ME - to say: you can't do that; it breaks all the rules!
Life is funny.
-ty
7.15.2005
Relief
if relief feels so good
is it still worth the pain?
since pain is rarely a permanent memory
does relief need pain?
i wonder
is it still worth the pain?
since pain is rarely a permanent memory
does relief need pain?
i wonder
No Modicum of Decorum
Time to ride the cyclone
No papers
No fire
No plumbing
The hydrocoaster is getting rocky
And all traumas are fin
Descent into the arts
Gets harder each time
Like the journey into junkydom; again
Look in the withins and doing withouts
Hey, look at the cool kids
Turning ping-pong into table tennis
And enjoying the causal Friday
Yes, I miss my girls
No papers
No fire
No plumbing
The hydrocoaster is getting rocky
And all traumas are fin
Descent into the arts
Gets harder each time
Like the journey into junkydom; again
Look in the withins and doing withouts
Hey, look at the cool kids
Turning ping-pong into table tennis
And enjoying the causal Friday
Yes, I miss my girls
Again, It's Time
It's not that I take life lightly, I don't
But, I've found it really hard to take myself too seriously
Life is a series of one-act plays
I find it hard to be myself
While always being myself
Or, at least, knowing what myself is
By goal or by plan, I work very hard at avoiding cliche and stereotype
While working equally hard to make it appear
As-if it's the easiest thing in the world
As natural as the beating heart
As theoretical as existence itself
"A series of incidents have created your present reality."
- Poppa Nutrino
7.13.2005
7.12.2005
The Merging
"Meditation is not about getting anywhere...when you pay attention to boredom, it gets unbelievably interesting."
jon kabat-zinn
7.10.2005
There's a Light
What's important to know about my music - and I hesitate to call it music, how 'bout "recordings" - is that it is a pretty clear reflection on my psyche. My cognitions. Even when I produce, my contributions make things sound how I need to hear them.
I think this trend will continue until I am completely insane and these recording become meaningless to everyone except for me.
7.07.2005
Driving Sr. Gonzales
How to get Alberto to the highest court:
Step 1: Get ultra conservatives to immediately claim he's too liberal and "not in the same vein as true conservatives"
Step 2: Get pal, the president, to slap hands of the not-conservative-enough crowd, "he's a good man"
Step 3: Nominate him as terrific Hispanic pioneer (don't mention Geneva Convention as quaint stuff)
Step 4: Grab a beer and watch as democrats love him up as not-as-liberal as once considered because, if the conservatives don't like then gee, he must be good, after all.
7.05.2005
7.04.2005
Daily Afromations
The cat is so high he sells his lawnmower on eBay.
You can come over tuesday or whenever, I'm now at the corner of Cottage and Bradford.
"In the face of raw reality that is meaningless to the layman, a photographer, like a geologist, must extract the meaningful features and shed light on what has caused them, allowing history and meaning to be read where others see nothing but stones."
-Paul S. Taylor
You can come over tuesday or whenever, I'm now at the corner of Cottage and Bradford.
"In the face of raw reality that is meaningless to the layman, a photographer, like a geologist, must extract the meaningful features and shed light on what has caused them, allowing history and meaning to be read where others see nothing but stones."
-Paul S. Taylor
7.03.2005
A Million Monkeys
Re: A Ioan lookalike?
Person One: That's weird.
Sorry, the guy doesn't even come close to looking like Ioan. So far, the closest one yet is Ty Hardaway of "One Life to Live" soap opera on ABC. Check it out, you'll see for yourself.
Person Two: I can kind of see it, but only at first glance...
That Ty DOES look like Ioan, but not as good as him though! Oh, btw, his last names's Treadway, not Hardaway. The lack of pics for him kind of puzzled me at first...
Person One: That's weird.
Sorry, the guy doesn't even come close to looking like Ioan. So far, the closest one yet is Ty Hardaway of "One Life to Live" soap opera on ABC. Check it out, you'll see for yourself.
Person Two: I can kind of see it, but only at first glance...
That Ty DOES look like Ioan, but not as good as him though! Oh, btw, his last names's Treadway, not Hardaway. The lack of pics for him kind of puzzled me at first...
Now for the Healing
"Gaylord A. Nelson, a former senator from Wisconsin who was one of the architects of America's modern environmental movement and the founder of Earth Day, died yesterday in Kensington, Md. He was 89.
A liberal Democrat who also served as governor of Wisconsin, Mr. Nelson was known for his candor and independence. He was one of only three senators who voted against the $700 million appropriation that began the nation's expanded involvement in the Vietnam War."
Meanwhile, I'm sick as a dog and healing with vicodin, tequila and green tea.
Gaylord. Tee-hee.
A liberal Democrat who also served as governor of Wisconsin, Mr. Nelson was known for his candor and independence. He was one of only three senators who voted against the $700 million appropriation that began the nation's expanded involvement in the Vietnam War."
Meanwhile, I'm sick as a dog and healing with vicodin, tequila and green tea.
Gaylord. Tee-hee.
7.02.2005
7.01.2005
July 1, 2005
Sandra's leaving. People are running around like scared freaks, afraid of shadows and George W. Bush - "Boo" says the boogieman.
In a Pogo cartoon strip from the McCarthy Era, Churchy the turtle has become the target of a political persecution campaign by the sinister types who live deep in the swamp, like Wiley Cat and Sarcophagus McCabre, the vulture. In a moment of despair he received the following dubious consolation from his friend the depressive porcupine:
"Don't take life so serious, son, it ain't nohow permanent."
To liberals everywhere. Stop your crying, you embarass me and yourselves. Don't be so weak. Let's roll kids!
Sandra's leaving. People are running around like scared freaks, afraid of shadows and George W. Bush - "Boo" says the boogieman.
In a Pogo cartoon strip from the McCarthy Era, Churchy the turtle has become the target of a political persecution campaign by the sinister types who live deep in the swamp, like Wiley Cat and Sarcophagus McCabre, the vulture. In a moment of despair he received the following dubious consolation from his friend the depressive porcupine:
"Don't take life so serious, son, it ain't nohow permanent."
To liberals everywhere. Stop your crying, you embarass me and yourselves. Don't be so weak. Let's roll kids!
6.25.2005
Fancy dinner night out.
Three dessert wines; a sampler flight of the sweetest wines.
Wine #1: Very good, crisp for such a heavy, sugary wine. Filling on the palate; good spread on the tounge.
Wine #2: Things get interesting. I start to have nostalgia. Other people's nostalgia. Memories of the dock on the lake in New England. Hot summer nights and tire swings. Twilights.
Wine #3: The taste reminded me of dry ice fog. I felt lonely. Pensive and contemplative. Alone. Delicious.
Three dessert wines; a sampler flight of the sweetest wines.
Wine #1: Very good, crisp for such a heavy, sugary wine. Filling on the palate; good spread on the tounge.
Wine #2: Things get interesting. I start to have nostalgia. Other people's nostalgia. Memories of the dock on the lake in New England. Hot summer nights and tire swings. Twilights.
Wine #3: The taste reminded me of dry ice fog. I felt lonely. Pensive and contemplative. Alone. Delicious.
6.24.2005
6.22.2005
Satyendra Patra: how's preparation of the 4oth? you must be busy
Ty Hardaway: eh, i farm it out
Satyendra Patra: nice
Ty Hardaway: most of it - i do oversight
Satyendra Patra: the boss
Ty Hardaway: hey, what is your gmail account? i remembered marcy.saty, but what is yours
Ty Hardaway: the boss in leiu of a REAL boss
Satyendra Patra: saty.patra***
Ty Hardaway: that's what I thought
Ty Hardaway: the NYer article makes me want to start a school or move to france
Ty Hardaway: we're screwed
Satyendra Patra: yes we are
Satyendra Patra: moving to france is worse
Satyendra Patra: they have their own problems
Ty Hardaway: they sure do
Satyendra Patra: prehaps we need a technocratic school
Satyendra Patra: religious folks need not apply
Ty Hardaway: sure - but ALL religious can apply and are encouraged
Ty Hardaway: we teach respect of all
Satyendra Patra: that is a problem
Ty Hardaway: yes, but we can't weed religion - what kind of liberal would be be :)
Satyendra Patra: to fight fascism, you have to be against them
Ty Hardaway: i know...
Satyendra Patra: to fight fanaticism, you have to be against them
Ty Hardaway: i know...
Ty Hardaway: to fight fiction, you have to be for reality
Satyendra Patra: yep
Ty Hardaway: when people sneeze, I say "voodoo"
Ty Hardaway: people say, "why did you say voodoo?"
Ty Hardaway: I say it's the same as "bless you" - same to me
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Ty Hardaway: it's crazy, man
Ty Hardaway: we have few choices - fighting is looking like our only option
Ty Hardaway: democrats as an organization are too weak
Ty Hardaway: liberals are lazy
Ty Hardaway: we need structure, man
Satyendra Patra: i don't know - i am by not means an atheist or even angnostic but the religious right is making an outright denunciation a tempting thing
Satyendra Patra: lazy yes
Satyendra Patra: i think there is a difference in the american dream
Satyendra Patra: the liberal dream is a personal dream - to do the best for oneself and one's family
Satyendra Patra: the religious right dream is a social
Ty Hardaway: i have firmly moved into OUTRIGHT DENUNCIATION - in set-reset theory, it's my only move
Satyendra Patra: they want to convert everything to their way of thinking
Satyendra Patra: that is "success" for them
Ty Hardaway: i think they are both social dreams, actually. the liberal dream is the "good for us all" dream - the conservative right dream is "what's good for me is what's good for us all" - subtle actually -- we agree
Ty Hardaway: i wouldn't call liberals selfish per se
Ty Hardaway: they/we are TOO caring at times
Satyendra Patra: not selfish
Satyendra Patra: they are willing to live in a place where differences exist as long as those difference don't hinder their own dreams
Satyendra Patra: not the christian right
Ty Hardaway: unfortunately, we now HAVE to get tough, nasty and mean -- ORGANIZED
Satyendra Patra: they are different from regular conservatives
Ty Hardaway: absolutely (pun)
Ty Hardaway: end times
Ty Hardaway: god's will
Ty Hardaway: predetermination
Satyendra Patra: lol
Ty Hardaway: vs
Ty Hardaway: ozone
Ty Hardaway: global equity
Ty Hardaway: peace
Satyendra Patra: maybe we should start and ozone cult
Satyendra Patra: :)
Satyendra Patra: and write a new creationg story
Ty Hardaway: a chapter in my advisor's book (gard advisor) is called "how to start your own cult"
Satyendra Patra: on the first day, ozone was created
Ty Hardaway: he's a persuasion expert
Ty Hardaway: the christian right uses the techniques play by play
Satyendra Patra: yeah, they are quite smart
Ty Hardaway: smart, committed, well-funded, long-term thinking, etc.
Ty Hardaway: all the tools for success
Satyendra Patra: the foundation of all this is actually apathy in the citizens
Ty Hardaway: true
Satyendra Patra: as long as people don't care, they can be persuaded by these means
Satyendra Patra: they are not going to go look for the truth
Ty Hardaway: i guess it has to get worse for the majority, personally, for people to take action, but then the road back to the middle will be really difficult
Ty Hardaway: "support the troops"
Ty Hardaway: "these colors don't run"
Ty Hardaway: Freedom Frieds
Ty Hardaway: Fries
Satyendra Patra: i don't think there is any other way
Satyendra Patra: so teaches history
Ty Hardaway: All classic attitude and persuasion techniques -- pure social psychology
Satyendra Patra: yep
Satyendra Patra: hitler used it
Ty Hardaway: so we will suffer in the interim - probably not us personally
Ty Hardaway: yes the parallels to nazi germany are astounding
Satyendra Patra: i would not count on us not suffering
Ty Hardaway: every google: bush hitler
Ty Hardaway: agreed
Ty Hardaway: but others will suffer much more
Satyendra Patra: the foundation for the "world economy" is quite fragile
Ty Hardaway: we'll suffer cerebrially more than anything
Ty Hardaway: our spirits will suffer
Satyendra Patra: that's for sure
Ty Hardaway: we will feel insult
Ty Hardaway: outrage
Ty Hardaway: breathe nasty air
Ty Hardaway: be bombarded with propaganda
Ty Hardaway: watch our children become republican accountant lawyers
Satyendra Patra: but i don't see any clear alternative leader in the liberal side
Satyendra Patra: clinton?
Satyendra Patra: who?
Ty Hardaway: liberal is such a bad "brand" now
Satyendra Patra: they might
Ty Hardaway: "progressive" is dead
Ty Hardaway: We need to form the New Right
Ty Hardaway: Right as in 'correct' not direction
Satyendra Patra: what if they start telling us that we will go to hell because we are not christians
Ty Hardaway: there is no hell
Ty Hardaway: it's a fairy tale
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Ty Hardaway: prove it
Satyendra Patra: they will be like
Satyendra Patra: remember the early 90s
Satyendra Patra: clinton having blowjobs
Satyendra Patra: that was hell
Ty Hardaway: good for him
Ty Hardaway: if that was hell i hope all our US soldiers in Iraq go to that hell
Satyendra Patra: lol
Ty Hardaway: clinton having blowjobs
Ty Hardaway: my answer: grow up
Ty Hardaway: grow up you sniveling cowards
Ty Hardaway: dean is fighting
Satyendra Patra: i can see one trend that will derail the christian right
Ty Hardaway: i've asked him to keep fighting
Satyendra Patra: in a decade or so
Ty Hardaway: there is not one trend - except for scandel
Ty Hardaway: but they control all information - or soon will
Satyendra Patra: yeah but that will not matter much if the population dynamic changes dramatically
Satyendra Patra: like if the there is a significant hispanic and muslim population increase in the next decade
Satyendra Patra: christian right is a largly white phenomenon
Ty Hardaway: i know. they are taking NPR, PBS, the universities, etc.
Ty Hardaway: yes, but there are huge developing pockets in hispanic and black evangelical
Ty Hardaway: it
Ty Hardaway: is
Ty Hardaway: scary
Satyendra Patra: yes. but what about muslims
Ty Hardaway: bush and co are courting them
Ty Hardaway: what about the dirty terrorists? we should deport or kill them.
Ty Hardaway: see?
Satyendra Patra: yeah. but only while their population is relatively small
Satyendra Patra: that can change
Satyendra Patra: look at britain
Ty Hardaway: it is not difficult to express outrage w/o looking like a kook
Satyendra Patra: france
Ty Hardaway: yes, WORLDWIDE this is happening
Ty Hardaway: and it will impact the US
Ty Hardaway: meanwhile China is waiting...
Ty Hardaway: waiting...
Ty Hardaway: and buying our debt...
Ty Hardaway: and waiting...
Ty Hardaway: the experiment is at its end
Ty Hardaway: we predicted that communism would eat itself
Satyendra Patra: at the right time, they will want us to bail them out so that they can bail us out
Ty Hardaway: democracy too
Ty Hardaway: rampant, uncontrolled democracy (w/o proper checks and balances) is doomed
Ty Hardaway: "democracy" note quotation marks
Satyendra Patra: exactly
Satyendra Patra: that sort of democracy is called apathy
Ty Hardaway: so instead of welcoming change, diversity, etc.
Ty Hardaway: we become total xenophobes, isolationists, arogant pigs
Ty Hardaway: but we have military might second to none...
Ty Hardaway: ...but China builds and waits...
Satyendra Patra: yeah but so did britain, germany and russia at point or another
Ty Hardaway: The Romans
Ty Hardaway: The Greeks
Ty Hardaway: The Spanish
Satyendra Patra: yep
Ty Hardaway: So when we need China to bail us out, we will have control of all oil passage...
Satyendra Patra: i am not opposed to china being the dominant economy
Ty Hardaway: you have no choice!
Satyendra Patra: yeah, but i am not sorry about that either
Ty Hardaway: agreed
Ty Hardaway: fortunately (or unfortunately), my life is 'bout half over.
Ty Hardaway: brennan and your kids will really have to duke it out
Satyendra Patra: true
Satyendra Patra: see that battle is at a qutie different plane
Satyendra Patra: it is not about being a liberal or religous conservative
Satyendra Patra: it is about having skills
Satyendra Patra: that are relevant at that time
Satyendra Patra: and the way things are going, it does not look that promising for the us
Satyendra Patra: or our kids that is
Ty Hardaway: yeah, that scares the shit out of me
Ty Hardaway: i'm giving this to my dear daughter
Ty Hardaway: fuck!
Satyendra Patra: but that is almost unavoidable
Satyendra Patra: it is a natural phenomenon
Satyendra Patra: change
Satyendra Patra: what goes up must come down
Ty Hardaway: truly i believe that when Bush I uttered New World Order - he was talking some serious shit. much more serious and long-term and permanent than we ever gave him credit for.
Satyendra Patra: yeah the world has always been ruled by techonology
Satyendra Patra: but now that scope is much larger
Satyendra Patra: guns, germs and steel multiplied millions times over
Ty Hardaway: technology? ideology!
Ty Hardaway: see: http://www.cooperativeresearch.org/timeline.jsp?timeline=complete_timeline_of_the_2003_invasion_of_iraq&key_events=DSM
Satyendra Patra: ideology will always lose
Satyendra Patra: ask hitler
Ty Hardaway: he was close to jumping the hurdle - madness struck
Ty Hardaway: i don't disagree with you though
Ty Hardaway: ideology drives/creates technology - governments/specific adminstrations develop specific plans (patriot act) and weapons (satellite warfare) - it's related
Ty Hardaway: closely related
Satyendra Patra: but in the larger scheme of things, that is really temporary
Satyendra Patra: it will last a few hundred years perhpas at best
Ty Hardaway: true
Satyendra Patra: eventually technology is all about technology for its own sake
Ty Hardaway: well, the way we're ruining our livable environment, we all might have to ban together to survive
Ty Hardaway: this is funny: thechnology and ideology
Satyendra Patra: yeah, even when the earth as we know it desappears
Ty Hardaway: we type IMs to each other, right?
Ty Hardaway: and they are all logged in at NSA
Ty Hardaway: :)
Satyendra Patra: lol
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Satyendra Patra: but tech exists
Satyendra Patra: but who has the time
Satyendra Patra: to snoop of some low leverl banter
Ty Hardaway: exactly
Ty Hardaway: but, put the right combinations of words together and you raise your chances of "getting attention" - the spiders are always trolling
Satyendra Patra: true
Satyendra Patra: it will be an interesting world in the next 10 years
Ty Hardaway: i cannot imagine
Ty Hardaway: exponential change
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Ty Hardaway: and the religious conservatives want it to all look like the idealic Norman Rockwell 1950s.
Satyendra Patra: lol
Satyendra Patra: far from it
Satyendra Patra: it will be more like a sci fi movie
Ty Hardaway: it's so crazy
Satyendra Patra: with lots of poverty at one end
Satyendra Patra: and lots of technology at the other
Ty Hardaway: a really bad sci fi movie
Satyendra Patra: yep
Ty Hardaway: and small pockets of grand wealth
Satyendra Patra: and the two will be fighting it out
Satyendra Patra: poverty will be terrorism
Ty Hardaway: no, the grandly wealthy will hire other poor (military, nat'l guard) to keep the peace
Ty Hardaway: "fighting" it out - but hidden from the overlords!
Ty Hardaway: we have a screenplay in here somewhere
Satyendra Patra: lol
Satyendra Patra: star wars
Satyendra Patra: empire
Satyendra Patra: jedis
Satyendra Patra: resistance
Ty Hardaway: i can always count on our conversations to cheer me up!
Satyendra Patra: lol
Ty Hardaway: Darth Vader = dick cheney
Satyendra Patra: lol
Ty Hardaway: oh well, it is on our shoulders to get some positive traction on change, i suppose
Satyendra Patra: yep
Satyendra Patra: but it is a lot of small steps
Satyendra Patra: insignificant by themselves
Ty Hardaway: well, when you sneeze and i say, "voodoo" you'll know why
Satyendra Patra: yup
Ty Hardaway: open a few eyes, challenge assumptions, etc.
Satyendra Patra: yep
Ty Hardaway: saddens me that i won't be able to open history texts from, say, the year 3030 and see what happened (or, at least, what the spin will be)
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Ty Hardaway: O well...something to ponder, my brilliant friend
Ty Hardaway: you certainly keep me alive...it will be great to have you here again
Satyendra Patra: if we ponder too much, we go nuts though
Satyendra Patra: yes it will great to be back
Ty Hardaway: that's why we need each other - for sanity
Satyendra Patra: it might be as early as aug 1
Ty Hardaway: i'll be here
Satyendra Patra: agreed
Ty Hardaway: subtle balancing act: pondering/action/sanity/apathy
Satyendra Patra: yes, quite a bit of selection
Satyendra Patra: right now i am ignoring most news
Satyendra Patra: for instance
Ty Hardaway: me too!
Satyendra Patra: focusing on health issue like diet, exercise etc
Ty Hardaway: good for you (and all your loved ones)
Satyendra Patra: exactly
Satyendra Patra: can't croak at 40
Ty Hardaway: keep all of your eyes open though, count on us
Satyendra Patra: there will be no time to ponder
Ty Hardaway: i'll be 40 in four months!
Ty Hardaway: that may be for the best, Saty...
Ty Hardaway: can i publish this thread in my blog?
Satyendra Patra: sure
Ty Hardaway: later, gator
Ty Hardaway: say hey to Marcy
Satyendra Patra: lator
Ty Hardaway: :)
Satyendra Patra: yep and same to b and a
Ty Hardaway: eh, i farm it out
Satyendra Patra: nice
Ty Hardaway: most of it - i do oversight
Satyendra Patra: the boss
Ty Hardaway: hey, what is your gmail account? i remembered marcy.saty, but what is yours
Ty Hardaway: the boss in leiu of a REAL boss
Satyendra Patra: saty.patra***
Ty Hardaway: that's what I thought
Ty Hardaway: the NYer article makes me want to start a school or move to france
Ty Hardaway: we're screwed
Satyendra Patra: yes we are
Satyendra Patra: moving to france is worse
Satyendra Patra: they have their own problems
Ty Hardaway: they sure do
Satyendra Patra: prehaps we need a technocratic school
Satyendra Patra: religious folks need not apply
Ty Hardaway: sure - but ALL religious can apply and are encouraged
Ty Hardaway: we teach respect of all
Satyendra Patra: that is a problem
Ty Hardaway: yes, but we can't weed religion - what kind of liberal would be be :)
Satyendra Patra: to fight fascism, you have to be against them
Ty Hardaway: i know...
Satyendra Patra: to fight fanaticism, you have to be against them
Ty Hardaway: i know...
Ty Hardaway: to fight fiction, you have to be for reality
Satyendra Patra: yep
Ty Hardaway: when people sneeze, I say "voodoo"
Ty Hardaway: people say, "why did you say voodoo?"
Ty Hardaway: I say it's the same as "bless you" - same to me
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Ty Hardaway: it's crazy, man
Ty Hardaway: we have few choices - fighting is looking like our only option
Ty Hardaway: democrats as an organization are too weak
Ty Hardaway: liberals are lazy
Ty Hardaway: we need structure, man
Satyendra Patra: i don't know - i am by not means an atheist or even angnostic but the religious right is making an outright denunciation a tempting thing
Satyendra Patra: lazy yes
Satyendra Patra: i think there is a difference in the american dream
Satyendra Patra: the liberal dream is a personal dream - to do the best for oneself and one's family
Satyendra Patra: the religious right dream is a social
Ty Hardaway: i have firmly moved into OUTRIGHT DENUNCIATION - in set-reset theory, it's my only move
Satyendra Patra: they want to convert everything to their way of thinking
Satyendra Patra: that is "success" for them
Ty Hardaway: i think they are both social dreams, actually. the liberal dream is the "good for us all" dream - the conservative right dream is "what's good for me is what's good for us all" - subtle actually -- we agree
Ty Hardaway: i wouldn't call liberals selfish per se
Ty Hardaway: they/we are TOO caring at times
Satyendra Patra: not selfish
Satyendra Patra: they are willing to live in a place where differences exist as long as those difference don't hinder their own dreams
Satyendra Patra: not the christian right
Ty Hardaway: unfortunately, we now HAVE to get tough, nasty and mean -- ORGANIZED
Satyendra Patra: they are different from regular conservatives
Ty Hardaway: absolutely (pun)
Ty Hardaway: end times
Ty Hardaway: god's will
Ty Hardaway: predetermination
Satyendra Patra: lol
Ty Hardaway: vs
Ty Hardaway: ozone
Ty Hardaway: global equity
Ty Hardaway: peace
Satyendra Patra: maybe we should start and ozone cult
Satyendra Patra: :)
Satyendra Patra: and write a new creationg story
Ty Hardaway: a chapter in my advisor's book (gard advisor) is called "how to start your own cult"
Satyendra Patra: on the first day, ozone was created
Ty Hardaway: he's a persuasion expert
Ty Hardaway: the christian right uses the techniques play by play
Satyendra Patra: yeah, they are quite smart
Ty Hardaway: smart, committed, well-funded, long-term thinking, etc.
Ty Hardaway: all the tools for success
Satyendra Patra: the foundation of all this is actually apathy in the citizens
Ty Hardaway: true
Satyendra Patra: as long as people don't care, they can be persuaded by these means
Satyendra Patra: they are not going to go look for the truth
Ty Hardaway: i guess it has to get worse for the majority, personally, for people to take action, but then the road back to the middle will be really difficult
Ty Hardaway: "support the troops"
Ty Hardaway: "these colors don't run"
Ty Hardaway: Freedom Frieds
Ty Hardaway: Fries
Satyendra Patra: i don't think there is any other way
Satyendra Patra: so teaches history
Ty Hardaway: All classic attitude and persuasion techniques -- pure social psychology
Satyendra Patra: yep
Satyendra Patra: hitler used it
Ty Hardaway: so we will suffer in the interim - probably not us personally
Ty Hardaway: yes the parallels to nazi germany are astounding
Satyendra Patra: i would not count on us not suffering
Ty Hardaway: every google: bush hitler
Ty Hardaway: agreed
Ty Hardaway: but others will suffer much more
Satyendra Patra: the foundation for the "world economy" is quite fragile
Ty Hardaway: we'll suffer cerebrially more than anything
Ty Hardaway: our spirits will suffer
Satyendra Patra: that's for sure
Ty Hardaway: we will feel insult
Ty Hardaway: outrage
Ty Hardaway: breathe nasty air
Ty Hardaway: be bombarded with propaganda
Ty Hardaway: watch our children become republican accountant lawyers
Satyendra Patra: but i don't see any clear alternative leader in the liberal side
Satyendra Patra: clinton?
Satyendra Patra: who?
Ty Hardaway: liberal is such a bad "brand" now
Satyendra Patra: they might
Ty Hardaway: "progressive" is dead
Ty Hardaway: We need to form the New Right
Ty Hardaway: Right as in 'correct' not direction
Satyendra Patra: what if they start telling us that we will go to hell because we are not christians
Ty Hardaway: there is no hell
Ty Hardaway: it's a fairy tale
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Ty Hardaway: prove it
Satyendra Patra: they will be like
Satyendra Patra: remember the early 90s
Satyendra Patra: clinton having blowjobs
Satyendra Patra: that was hell
Ty Hardaway: good for him
Ty Hardaway: if that was hell i hope all our US soldiers in Iraq go to that hell
Satyendra Patra: lol
Ty Hardaway: clinton having blowjobs
Ty Hardaway: my answer: grow up
Ty Hardaway: grow up you sniveling cowards
Ty Hardaway: dean is fighting
Satyendra Patra: i can see one trend that will derail the christian right
Ty Hardaway: i've asked him to keep fighting
Satyendra Patra: in a decade or so
Ty Hardaway: there is not one trend - except for scandel
Ty Hardaway: but they control all information - or soon will
Satyendra Patra: yeah but that will not matter much if the population dynamic changes dramatically
Satyendra Patra: like if the there is a significant hispanic and muslim population increase in the next decade
Satyendra Patra: christian right is a largly white phenomenon
Ty Hardaway: i know. they are taking NPR, PBS, the universities, etc.
Ty Hardaway: yes, but there are huge developing pockets in hispanic and black evangelical
Ty Hardaway: it
Ty Hardaway: is
Ty Hardaway: scary
Satyendra Patra: yes. but what about muslims
Ty Hardaway: bush and co are courting them
Ty Hardaway: what about the dirty terrorists? we should deport or kill them.
Ty Hardaway: see?
Satyendra Patra: yeah. but only while their population is relatively small
Satyendra Patra: that can change
Satyendra Patra: look at britain
Ty Hardaway: it is not difficult to express outrage w/o looking like a kook
Satyendra Patra: france
Ty Hardaway: yes, WORLDWIDE this is happening
Ty Hardaway: and it will impact the US
Ty Hardaway: meanwhile China is waiting...
Ty Hardaway: waiting...
Ty Hardaway: and buying our debt...
Ty Hardaway: and waiting...
Ty Hardaway: the experiment is at its end
Ty Hardaway: we predicted that communism would eat itself
Satyendra Patra: at the right time, they will want us to bail them out so that they can bail us out
Ty Hardaway: democracy too
Ty Hardaway: rampant, uncontrolled democracy (w/o proper checks and balances) is doomed
Ty Hardaway: "democracy" note quotation marks
Satyendra Patra: exactly
Satyendra Patra: that sort of democracy is called apathy
Ty Hardaway: so instead of welcoming change, diversity, etc.
Ty Hardaway: we become total xenophobes, isolationists, arogant pigs
Ty Hardaway: but we have military might second to none...
Ty Hardaway: ...but China builds and waits...
Satyendra Patra: yeah but so did britain, germany and russia at point or another
Ty Hardaway: The Romans
Ty Hardaway: The Greeks
Ty Hardaway: The Spanish
Satyendra Patra: yep
Ty Hardaway: So when we need China to bail us out, we will have control of all oil passage...
Satyendra Patra: i am not opposed to china being the dominant economy
Ty Hardaway: you have no choice!
Satyendra Patra: yeah, but i am not sorry about that either
Ty Hardaway: agreed
Ty Hardaway: fortunately (or unfortunately), my life is 'bout half over.
Ty Hardaway: brennan and your kids will really have to duke it out
Satyendra Patra: true
Satyendra Patra: see that battle is at a qutie different plane
Satyendra Patra: it is not about being a liberal or religous conservative
Satyendra Patra: it is about having skills
Satyendra Patra: that are relevant at that time
Satyendra Patra: and the way things are going, it does not look that promising for the us
Satyendra Patra: or our kids that is
Ty Hardaway: yeah, that scares the shit out of me
Ty Hardaway: i'm giving this to my dear daughter
Ty Hardaway: fuck!
Satyendra Patra: but that is almost unavoidable
Satyendra Patra: it is a natural phenomenon
Satyendra Patra: change
Satyendra Patra: what goes up must come down
Ty Hardaway: truly i believe that when Bush I uttered New World Order - he was talking some serious shit. much more serious and long-term and permanent than we ever gave him credit for.
Satyendra Patra: yeah the world has always been ruled by techonology
Satyendra Patra: but now that scope is much larger
Satyendra Patra: guns, germs and steel multiplied millions times over
Ty Hardaway: technology? ideology!
Ty Hardaway: see: http://www.cooperativeresearch.org/timeline.jsp?timeline=complete_timeline_of_the_2003_invasion_of_iraq&key_events=DSM
Satyendra Patra: ideology will always lose
Satyendra Patra: ask hitler
Ty Hardaway: he was close to jumping the hurdle - madness struck
Ty Hardaway: i don't disagree with you though
Ty Hardaway: ideology drives/creates technology - governments/specific adminstrations develop specific plans (patriot act) and weapons (satellite warfare) - it's related
Ty Hardaway: closely related
Satyendra Patra: but in the larger scheme of things, that is really temporary
Satyendra Patra: it will last a few hundred years perhpas at best
Ty Hardaway: true
Satyendra Patra: eventually technology is all about technology for its own sake
Ty Hardaway: well, the way we're ruining our livable environment, we all might have to ban together to survive
Ty Hardaway: this is funny: thechnology and ideology
Satyendra Patra: yeah, even when the earth as we know it desappears
Ty Hardaway: we type IMs to each other, right?
Ty Hardaway: and they are all logged in at NSA
Ty Hardaway: :)
Satyendra Patra: lol
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Satyendra Patra: but tech exists
Satyendra Patra: but who has the time
Satyendra Patra: to snoop of some low leverl banter
Ty Hardaway: exactly
Ty Hardaway: but, put the right combinations of words together and you raise your chances of "getting attention" - the spiders are always trolling
Satyendra Patra: true
Satyendra Patra: it will be an interesting world in the next 10 years
Ty Hardaway: i cannot imagine
Ty Hardaway: exponential change
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Ty Hardaway: and the religious conservatives want it to all look like the idealic Norman Rockwell 1950s.
Satyendra Patra: lol
Satyendra Patra: far from it
Satyendra Patra: it will be more like a sci fi movie
Ty Hardaway: it's so crazy
Satyendra Patra: with lots of poverty at one end
Satyendra Patra: and lots of technology at the other
Ty Hardaway: a really bad sci fi movie
Satyendra Patra: yep
Ty Hardaway: and small pockets of grand wealth
Satyendra Patra: and the two will be fighting it out
Satyendra Patra: poverty will be terrorism
Ty Hardaway: no, the grandly wealthy will hire other poor (military, nat'l guard) to keep the peace
Ty Hardaway: "fighting" it out - but hidden from the overlords!
Ty Hardaway: we have a screenplay in here somewhere
Satyendra Patra: lol
Satyendra Patra: star wars
Satyendra Patra: empire
Satyendra Patra: jedis
Satyendra Patra: resistance
Ty Hardaway: i can always count on our conversations to cheer me up!
Satyendra Patra: lol
Ty Hardaway: Darth Vader = dick cheney
Satyendra Patra: lol
Ty Hardaway: oh well, it is on our shoulders to get some positive traction on change, i suppose
Satyendra Patra: yep
Satyendra Patra: but it is a lot of small steps
Satyendra Patra: insignificant by themselves
Ty Hardaway: well, when you sneeze and i say, "voodoo" you'll know why
Satyendra Patra: yup
Ty Hardaway: open a few eyes, challenge assumptions, etc.
Satyendra Patra: yep
Ty Hardaway: saddens me that i won't be able to open history texts from, say, the year 3030 and see what happened (or, at least, what the spin will be)
Satyendra Patra: yeah
Ty Hardaway: O well...something to ponder, my brilliant friend
Ty Hardaway: you certainly keep me alive...it will be great to have you here again
Satyendra Patra: if we ponder too much, we go nuts though
Satyendra Patra: yes it will great to be back
Ty Hardaway: that's why we need each other - for sanity
Satyendra Patra: it might be as early as aug 1
Ty Hardaway: i'll be here
Satyendra Patra: agreed
Ty Hardaway: subtle balancing act: pondering/action/sanity/apathy
Satyendra Patra: yes, quite a bit of selection
Satyendra Patra: right now i am ignoring most news
Satyendra Patra: for instance
Ty Hardaway: me too!
Satyendra Patra: focusing on health issue like diet, exercise etc
Ty Hardaway: good for you (and all your loved ones)
Satyendra Patra: exactly
Satyendra Patra: can't croak at 40
Ty Hardaway: keep all of your eyes open though, count on us
Satyendra Patra: there will be no time to ponder
Ty Hardaway: i'll be 40 in four months!
Ty Hardaway: that may be for the best, Saty...
Ty Hardaway: can i publish this thread in my blog?
Satyendra Patra: sure
Ty Hardaway: later, gator
Ty Hardaway: say hey to Marcy
Satyendra Patra: lator
Ty Hardaway: :)
Satyendra Patra: yep and same to b and a
6.08.2005
A Music/Culture Review:
It hasn't been a good year for Big music (with the exception of M.I.A and the Eels new records). As a lifelong music fan and musician, I've never liked Coldplay. I gave them a listen and I don't hate 'em, but I'd never intentionally listen to 'em either. Good musicians, formulaic, predictable and grossly overproduced, it's fairly typical of what Dave Matthews brought to the world.
But they have good marketing techniques and that I don't curse them for that. It's good to be big, I suppose.
I was curious what the deal was (since people are talking and maybe I wasn't getting it - that happens) so I took a look at what the pros are saying and it pretty much sums up my attitude:
NY Times:
"But Coldplay follow-throughs are redundant; from the beginning, Coldplay has verged on self-parody. When he moans his verses, Mr. Martin can sound so sorry for himself that there's hardly room to sympathize for him, and when he's not mixing metaphors, he fearlessly slings clichés."
Pitchfork:
"Like Coldplay's two previous albums, only more so, X&Y is bland but never offensive, listenable but not memorable. It may be pointless to hate them, but with this album, they've almost certainly become the easiest band on the planet to be completely indifferent to."
Rolling Stone:
"It's the sound of a blown-up band trying not to deflate.... Compared to all the hubbub about Chris Martin the celebrity, his band's return to the American pop charts was a bit of a letdown."
Spin:
By ratcheting up their guitars and still singing about everyday themes, Coldplay are recasting their nerdy-student Britpop as Important Rock Music without sacrificing the homespun vibe that allowed Martin's fans to believe that he wrote a song for each one of them and called it "Yellow."
It hasn't been a good year for Big music (with the exception of M.I.A and the Eels new records). As a lifelong music fan and musician, I've never liked Coldplay. I gave them a listen and I don't hate 'em, but I'd never intentionally listen to 'em either. Good musicians, formulaic, predictable and grossly overproduced, it's fairly typical of what Dave Matthews brought to the world.
But they have good marketing techniques and that I don't curse them for that. It's good to be big, I suppose.
I was curious what the deal was (since people are talking and maybe I wasn't getting it - that happens) so I took a look at what the pros are saying and it pretty much sums up my attitude:
NY Times:
"But Coldplay follow-throughs are redundant; from the beginning, Coldplay has verged on self-parody. When he moans his verses, Mr. Martin can sound so sorry for himself that there's hardly room to sympathize for him, and when he's not mixing metaphors, he fearlessly slings clichés."
Pitchfork:
"Like Coldplay's two previous albums, only more so, X&Y is bland but never offensive, listenable but not memorable. It may be pointless to hate them, but with this album, they've almost certainly become the easiest band on the planet to be completely indifferent to."
Rolling Stone:
"It's the sound of a blown-up band trying not to deflate.... Compared to all the hubbub about Chris Martin the celebrity, his band's return to the American pop charts was a bit of a letdown."
Spin:
By ratcheting up their guitars and still singing about everyday themes, Coldplay are recasting their nerdy-student Britpop as Important Rock Music without sacrificing the homespun vibe that allowed Martin's fans to believe that he wrote a song for each one of them and called it "Yellow."
5.26.2005
OK, now about me.
The old saying, "don't read your own press" was something I took to heart a million years ago and ignored when necessary.
But, I generally make things and store them: art, music, photos, etc.
Same goes for TTBOTT. I made it. I distributed it (to all 10 people) and I left it alone. Now, this isn't an aging like fine wine, but I hadn't listened to it for a while.
Yesterday, I took the metro/bus home -- headphone heaven.
So I reluctantly tried it out, fully realizing that I was going to seriously disappoint myself and reveal the truth: that as an artist I really do suck!
Well [cue the fanfare], TTBOTT is some serious shit. Contrary to jigsaw puzzle pieces falling out of my ass, I actually understand it a great deal and, get this, really kind of like it. Appreciate it.
Well, look at me!
The old saying, "don't read your own press" was something I took to heart a million years ago and ignored when necessary.
But, I generally make things and store them: art, music, photos, etc.
Same goes for TTBOTT. I made it. I distributed it (to all 10 people) and I left it alone. Now, this isn't an aging like fine wine, but I hadn't listened to it for a while.
Yesterday, I took the metro/bus home -- headphone heaven.
So I reluctantly tried it out, fully realizing that I was going to seriously disappoint myself and reveal the truth: that as an artist I really do suck!
Well [cue the fanfare], TTBOTT is some serious shit. Contrary to jigsaw puzzle pieces falling out of my ass, I actually understand it a great deal and, get this, really kind of like it. Appreciate it.
Well, look at me!
5.23.2005
Has it really been over a month? Oh, I still love you. Really I do.
It's nothing personal. It's me not you. Uh, I was on vacation [http://www.a-pos-tro-phe.com/v1n3/vacation1.html]. Seriously. I flew in an aero plane.
I had this dream once, that I met Jesus, and borrowed a ten-spot and a joint from him. He was really cool about shit. I couldn't resist throwing around the exclamation, "Jesus Christ." Funnily, he'd reply, "What?!" I asked him if god really existed, although he wouldn't answer directly, he kept referring to his dad in seemingly big ways.
What has changed? Well, what hasn't? Democrats are still weak. Iraq is still a mess. And, California is next to the ocean. The Pacific Ocean. It's wet.
Owen, Pryor, and Brown are still a great and grave danger to the republic. Enlightenment is still out of reach for america [lower case "a" intentional].
Tomorrow, I have my annual performance review – at work -- and I really have no feelings about it. I find that surprising somehow. Work. Working. Career. A Norman Rockwell collectible plate purchased from Parade magazine insert.
Blindsided. Crushed. Wrong.
It's nothing personal. It's me not you. Uh, I was on vacation [http://www.a-pos-tro-phe.com/v1n3/vacation1.html]. Seriously. I flew in an aero plane.
I had this dream once, that I met Jesus, and borrowed a ten-spot and a joint from him. He was really cool about shit. I couldn't resist throwing around the exclamation, "Jesus Christ." Funnily, he'd reply, "What?!" I asked him if god really existed, although he wouldn't answer directly, he kept referring to his dad in seemingly big ways.
What has changed? Well, what hasn't? Democrats are still weak. Iraq is still a mess. And, California is next to the ocean. The Pacific Ocean. It's wet.
Owen, Pryor, and Brown are still a great and grave danger to the republic. Enlightenment is still out of reach for america [lower case "a" intentional].
Tomorrow, I have my annual performance review – at work -- and I really have no feelings about it. I find that surprising somehow. Work. Working. Career. A Norman Rockwell collectible plate purchased from Parade magazine insert.
Blindsided. Crushed. Wrong.
4.19.2005
In Dreams
There are perfectly good dreams. Bad ones too. There are great dreams and nightmares. Night terrors are extremely awful. Most dreams are not memorable in the least.
But, every once in a great while, conditions are right for astounding dreams. Dreams so amazingly wonderful, so perfect that waking is akin to dying. The story arcs so perfect, one couldn't even imagine the genius mind or tender thoughtfulness of the human who could conceive of such wonder (then somehow you realize it’s your mind).
The sights. The sounds. The smells. The lighting. Nuances and even the most minute details of things small and very far in the background are stunning. Ahh, but…
But, above all, the emotions are astonishing! Falling in love, fright or worry is extra-life-like – extraordinary! The feelings of love where the overarching sense of desire and connection; the well being and playful oneness are so complete so intertwined that there are never enough tears or welling.
Loss that feels so absolutely devastating in its desperate separation and finality.
Last night I had one of those dreams. Damn.
There are perfectly good dreams. Bad ones too. There are great dreams and nightmares. Night terrors are extremely awful. Most dreams are not memorable in the least.
But, every once in a great while, conditions are right for astounding dreams. Dreams so amazingly wonderful, so perfect that waking is akin to dying. The story arcs so perfect, one couldn't even imagine the genius mind or tender thoughtfulness of the human who could conceive of such wonder (then somehow you realize it’s your mind).
The sights. The sounds. The smells. The lighting. Nuances and even the most minute details of things small and very far in the background are stunning. Ahh, but…
But, above all, the emotions are astonishing! Falling in love, fright or worry is extra-life-like – extraordinary! The feelings of love where the overarching sense of desire and connection; the well being and playful oneness are so complete so intertwined that there are never enough tears or welling.
Loss that feels so absolutely devastating in its desperate separation and finality.
Last night I had one of those dreams. Damn.
4.14.2005
I really want to embrace the Washington Nationals. I've followed them through spring training and ten games into the season. Sure, I hate the damn, that everyone is so nutty about them for some faddish reason or another. Sure, my team is LA. The motherfucking Dodgers, right? But, I haven't lived in L.A. for 20 years. I've lived equal my life away from L.A. So, I can pick another team. And, right here in my lap falls a team. A National League baseball team. I had to outlay nothing. No cash, no blood, no sweat.
They look like a baseball team. They even have a couple of known quantity ballplayers. The Nationals!
But, as I sit here watching the Washington Nationals and the Arizona Diamondbacks...I find my attention waning. Diamondbacks v. Nationals. Seriously. I mean, they look like a baseball team. They're playing on a diamond of major league porportions and quality.
If I have to hear "baseball is back" or see one more mope in a "W" hat...
I dunno about this...Go Dodgers?
They look like a baseball team. They even have a couple of known quantity ballplayers. The Nationals!
But, as I sit here watching the Washington Nationals and the Arizona Diamondbacks...I find my attention waning. Diamondbacks v. Nationals. Seriously. I mean, they look like a baseball team. They're playing on a diamond of major league porportions and quality.
If I have to hear "baseball is back" or see one more mope in a "W" hat...
I dunno about this...Go Dodgers?
4.06.2005
Babadoo: Hey Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: What is it Babadoo?
Babadoo: I'm tryin' to figures something out.
Whabadoo: What is it Babadoo? Jello?
Babadoo: No, not Jello, but you got a point...flavored cow bones, chick rasslin' in it and shit. Fucking weird. But no, it's the PEDs I'm confused about Whabadoo.
Whabadoo: You mean PEZ Babadoo. Remember that dispenser I had, looked like Nicole Simpson? Not right, huh?
Babadoo: No, PEDs, Performance-Enhancing Drugs Whabadoo.
Whabadoo: What's so confusing 'bout that? It's cheating pure and simple. 'Roids is bad, that's that. Even got a big ass Congressional Probe to put a stop to it. Besides, I hear they shrink your nads. Makes ballplayers RAGE and fight the audience and stuff.
Babadoo: Can't be Whabadoo - Arnold ran for Governor so they can't be all that small. Did you actually say "nads" Whabadoo? "Nads?" What, you gonna use "wuss" next?
Whabadoo: Yeah, that took big nads. You got a point there...wuss!
Babadoo: Besides Whabadoo, I'm not even talking about the 'roids. I'm talking bout Marijuana. Name one great artist, architect, poet, writer or musician who's performance wasn't enhanced by that drug? Shit, we wouldn't even HAVE jazz or tripgrass without it. Were they cheaters Whabadoo? And maybe there should be an asterisk by Van Gogh's name for using opium. That sure enhanced his (or her) performance as a painter. And, what about the old school ballers like Wilt and Bill Walton. John Wooden let Bill Walton smoke up because he knew it let him play better, more fluid.
Whabadoo: An asterisk by his name? Where? What are you going on about Babadoo? Maybe they should call themselves, Phish* or Led Zeppelin* or maybe even William Shakespeare*? How 'bout this: Jesus*! Click this link, Bab.
Babadoo: Or what about the millions of people who take Prozacs who perform better at work and in their relationships because they don't want to die no more? Is that cheatin' Whabadoo? Jimmy didn't beat his wife, but we are forced to put an asterisk by his behavioral performance today.
Whabadoo: You get the point. And then there's Viager - it enhances ole daddy's "performance" from what I can hear - talk about "cheating on your wife." And I take Ginko Biloba and some multi-vitimins and a tramadol or two. And the Egyptians ate lotus flowers, probably did something for them, those fucking cheaters! Let's get a Congressional Probe to see if the Egyptians cheated when they built the pyramids! Should I get a discount because the guys that installed my carpet were a bit high? What about Otto?
Babadoo: Yeah, now you see why I'm confused Whabadoo. Nicole Simpson and pez? That ain't right.
Whabadoo: Maybe...the asterisk can become the new universal symbol for PEDs. That way, we bring all the cheaters out into the open. How 'bout that, Babadoo*?
Whabadoo*: Well? How 'bout that, Babadoo*?
Whabadoo: What is it Babadoo?
Babadoo: I'm tryin' to figures something out.
Whabadoo: What is it Babadoo? Jello?
Babadoo: No, not Jello, but you got a point...flavored cow bones, chick rasslin' in it and shit. Fucking weird. But no, it's the PEDs I'm confused about Whabadoo.
Whabadoo: You mean PEZ Babadoo. Remember that dispenser I had, looked like Nicole Simpson? Not right, huh?
Babadoo: No, PEDs, Performance-Enhancing Drugs Whabadoo.
Whabadoo: What's so confusing 'bout that? It's cheating pure and simple. 'Roids is bad, that's that. Even got a big ass Congressional Probe to put a stop to it. Besides, I hear they shrink your nads. Makes ballplayers RAGE and fight the audience and stuff.
Babadoo: Can't be Whabadoo - Arnold ran for Governor so they can't be all that small. Did you actually say "nads" Whabadoo? "Nads?" What, you gonna use "wuss" next?
Whabadoo: Yeah, that took big nads. You got a point there...wuss!
Babadoo: Besides Whabadoo, I'm not even talking about the 'roids. I'm talking bout Marijuana. Name one great artist, architect, poet, writer or musician who's performance wasn't enhanced by that drug? Shit, we wouldn't even HAVE jazz or tripgrass without it. Were they cheaters Whabadoo? And maybe there should be an asterisk by Van Gogh's name for using opium. That sure enhanced his (or her) performance as a painter. And, what about the old school ballers like Wilt and Bill Walton. John Wooden let Bill Walton smoke up because he knew it let him play better, more fluid.
Whabadoo: An asterisk by his name? Where? What are you going on about Babadoo? Maybe they should call themselves, Phish* or Led Zeppelin* or maybe even William Shakespeare*? How 'bout this: Jesus*! Click this link, Bab.
Babadoo: Or what about the millions of people who take Prozacs who perform better at work and in their relationships because they don't want to die no more? Is that cheatin' Whabadoo? Jimmy didn't beat his wife, but we are forced to put an asterisk by his behavioral performance today.
Whabadoo: You get the point. And then there's Viager - it enhances ole daddy's "performance" from what I can hear - talk about "cheating on your wife." And I take Ginko Biloba and some multi-vitimins and a tramadol or two. And the Egyptians ate lotus flowers, probably did something for them, those fucking cheaters! Let's get a Congressional Probe to see if the Egyptians cheated when they built the pyramids! Should I get a discount because the guys that installed my carpet were a bit high? What about Otto?
Babadoo: Yeah, now you see why I'm confused Whabadoo. Nicole Simpson and pez? That ain't right.
Whabadoo: Maybe...the asterisk can become the new universal symbol for PEDs. That way, we bring all the cheaters out into the open. How 'bout that, Babadoo*?
Whabadoo*: Well? How 'bout that, Babadoo*?
4.04.2005
Whabadoo: JEHOVAH!!! YOU IDIOTIC WHORE!!! YOU MAGGOT!!! YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS, DOWN HERE!!! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, YOU TYRANT!!! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!!! BUT I DON'T CARE, BECAUSE I HATE YOU!!!!!
Babadoo: Whabadoo! Wake up, man! Whabadoo!!
Whabadoo: Huh, wha?!
Babadoo: Whabadoo, you were screaming in your sleep. Something about Jehovah and maggots and tyrants. What were you dreaming about?
Whabadoo: Oh, I was just dreaming that I was reading the newspaper.
Babadoo: Whoa, that's a whopper!
Babadoo: Whabadoo! Wake up, man! Whabadoo!!
Whabadoo: Huh, wha?!
Babadoo: Whabadoo, you were screaming in your sleep. Something about Jehovah and maggots and tyrants. What were you dreaming about?
Whabadoo: Oh, I was just dreaming that I was reading the newspaper.
Babadoo: Whoa, that's a whopper!
3.31.2005
Ty: Hey, guys?
Whabadoo: What you want, Mister Ty?
Babadoo: Yeah?
Ty: I brought a friend, he's religious, so be nice, okay?
Babadoo: Okay, who is this culty fuck?
Whabadoo: Babadoo, cut that shit out, dude. Chill. He looks cool...for a man of the cloth or whatever.
Ty: Guys, this is the Rev. DJ Richie-Scratchy, you can call him Rich.
Babadoo: Hello, Mister Reech.
Whabadoo: Where's your collar?
DJ Richie-Scratchy: Ha-ha guys. I don't wear a collar. I'm a virtual minister; an Internet preacher. Praise God to all!
Ty: Okay, Rich. Tell the fellas what you were telling me.
DJ Richie-Scratchy: Guys, I'm hear to tell you that God is mad. Angry. Pissed the hell off. The end is near! Praise Allah!
Whabadoo: Really!?
Babadoo: What we do? How do you know?
DJ Richie-Scratchy: In addition to feeding tubes for the Pope and no feeding tubes for the Terri, God gave us earthquakes in the same brown part of the world not too far from Christmas and Easter. I bet he meant them to be on Christmas and Easter but when you have to throw them from so far away (the other side of the universe) you can be off by a couple of days. Praise Buddha.
Plus, Jerry Falwell is bleeding out the asshole and Johnnie Cochran got a wicked brain tumor - the fun inoperable kind. "If the tumor's too big; nigga, get a shovel and start to dig!"
Ty: Dude, that was cold! The brotha's just doing his ca-zash bizz-niz. You don't have to hate...
DJ Richie-Scratchy: "...if homie's got a lump in the head; get yo po ass outta bed..."
Whabadoo: What you want, Mister Ty?
Babadoo: Yeah?
Ty: I brought a friend, he's religious, so be nice, okay?
Babadoo: Okay, who is this culty fuck?
Whabadoo: Babadoo, cut that shit out, dude. Chill. He looks cool...for a man of the cloth or whatever.
Ty: Guys, this is the Rev. DJ Richie-Scratchy, you can call him Rich.
Babadoo: Hello, Mister Reech.
Whabadoo: Where's your collar?
DJ Richie-Scratchy: Ha-ha guys. I don't wear a collar. I'm a virtual minister; an Internet preacher. Praise God to all!
Ty: Okay, Rich. Tell the fellas what you were telling me.
DJ Richie-Scratchy: Guys, I'm hear to tell you that God is mad. Angry. Pissed the hell off. The end is near! Praise Allah!
Whabadoo: Really!?
Babadoo: What we do? How do you know?
DJ Richie-Scratchy: In addition to feeding tubes for the Pope and no feeding tubes for the Terri, God gave us earthquakes in the same brown part of the world not too far from Christmas and Easter. I bet he meant them to be on Christmas and Easter but when you have to throw them from so far away (the other side of the universe) you can be off by a couple of days. Praise Buddha.
Plus, Jerry Falwell is bleeding out the asshole and Johnnie Cochran got a wicked brain tumor - the fun inoperable kind. "If the tumor's too big; nigga, get a shovel and start to dig!"
Ty: Dude, that was cold! The brotha's just doing his ca-zash bizz-niz. You don't have to hate...
DJ Richie-Scratchy: "...if homie's got a lump in the head; get yo po ass outta bed..."
3.30.2005
Babadoo: Whabad-- What the fuck is that?!
Whabadoo: Well, I got to thinking. Terri had one. John Paul has one. I got me a feeding tube! I hear they'll be all the rage soon. I read that Jennifer Anniston is getting one in her stomach and that Beck has had one out his nose since last November. He even had Thanksgiving dinner through his. So, when you told me about getting all sick and shit, I got to thinking...
Babadoo: You cannot be serious. A feeding tube? Dude, that is so wrong.
Whabadoo: What's so wrong? A friend of mine said they saw Karl Rove with one at a party in Virginia. He was downing Michelob like a motherfucker...
Babadoo: I'm going back to sleep; this is one fucked dream--
Whabadoo: ...and college kids are using theirs to in highly sexual ways.
Whabadoo: Well, I got to thinking. Terri had one. John Paul has one. I got me a feeding tube! I hear they'll be all the rage soon. I read that Jennifer Anniston is getting one in her stomach and that Beck has had one out his nose since last November. He even had Thanksgiving dinner through his. So, when you told me about getting all sick and shit, I got to thinking...
Babadoo: You cannot be serious. A feeding tube? Dude, that is so wrong.
Whabadoo: What's so wrong? A friend of mine said they saw Karl Rove with one at a party in Virginia. He was downing Michelob like a motherfucker...
Babadoo: I'm going back to sleep; this is one fucked dream--
Whabadoo: ...and college kids are using theirs to in highly sexual ways.
Whabadoo: Babadoo?! Where you been, man?
Babadoo: I have been very, very ill. I was at death's door. I was one foot in, man.
Whabadoo: Whoa...why didn't you tell me? I could have brought you some soup or something.
Babadoo: Soup! I couldn't eat no fucking soup. I was really goddamn sick, man. I had tubes and shit in my nose. I couldn't talk. I couldn't move. Nothing. They said my heart stopped a time or two.
Whabadoo: Shit man, what happened?
Babadoo: Those Republicans, man... The doctor says I had reached, whathesay? "A threshold." My system couldn't take it anymore. I was so full of their nasty, vile polluted shit, I overloaded. I thought I had taken as much as possible, then Bolton, then Wolfowitz, then Hughes, then steroids, then Schiavo. That shit put me over.
Whabadoo: I hear Jerry Fallwell is sick too. Maybe he die? Pope too?
Babadoo: I'm feeling a little better.
Babadoo: I have been very, very ill. I was at death's door. I was one foot in, man.
Whabadoo: Whoa...why didn't you tell me? I could have brought you some soup or something.
Babadoo: Soup! I couldn't eat no fucking soup. I was really goddamn sick, man. I had tubes and shit in my nose. I couldn't talk. I couldn't move. Nothing. They said my heart stopped a time or two.
Whabadoo: Shit man, what happened?
Babadoo: Those Republicans, man... The doctor says I had reached, whathesay? "A threshold." My system couldn't take it anymore. I was so full of their nasty, vile polluted shit, I overloaded. I thought I had taken as much as possible, then Bolton, then Wolfowitz, then Hughes, then steroids, then Schiavo. That shit put me over.
Whabadoo: I hear Jerry Fallwell is sick too. Maybe he die? Pope too?
Babadoo: I'm feeling a little better.
3.17.2005
Babadoo: Yo, Whabadoo. I have a question for you.
Whabadoo: I'm not here to talk about the past; I'm here to be positive about the future.
Babadoo: B-b-but, Whabadoo, you haven't even heard my questio--
Whabadoo: I'm not here to talk about the past; I'm here to be positive about the future.
Babadoo: Dude, what the fuck? Can I even ask the question?
Whabadoo:
Babadoo: Shithead.
Whabadoo: I am not here to talk about the past; I only want to be positive about the future.
Whabadoo: I'm not here to talk about the past; I'm here to be positive about the future.
Babadoo: B-b-but, Whabadoo, you haven't even heard my questio--
Whabadoo: I'm not here to talk about the past; I'm here to be positive about the future.
Babadoo: Dude, what the fuck? Can I even ask the question?
Whabadoo:
Babadoo: Shithead.
Whabadoo: I am not here to talk about the past; I only want to be positive about the future.
Whabadoo: LOOK AT ME BABADOO, FUCKING LOOK AT HOW RIPPED I AM!
Babadoo: You roidin' again, Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: OPEN YOUR GODDAMN EYES AND FUCKING LOOK AT MY PECS! GODDAMN, MY ABS ARE LIKE RIVERSTONES!
Babadoo: Oh, please don't send me into the cornfield again.
Whabadoo: WHAT?! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! DO NOT EVER DISS ME AGAIN, YOU PUTRID LITTLE FAGGOT!
Babadoo: That was good. Next time when you do the "putrid little faggot" part, bug your eyes out a little more. The neck vein thing was perfect.
Babadoo: You roidin' again, Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: OPEN YOUR GODDAMN EYES AND FUCKING LOOK AT MY PECS! GODDAMN, MY ABS ARE LIKE RIVERSTONES!
Babadoo: Oh, please don't send me into the cornfield again.
Whabadoo: WHAT?! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! DO NOT EVER DISS ME AGAIN, YOU PUTRID LITTLE FAGGOT!
Babadoo: That was good. Next time when you do the "putrid little faggot" part, bug your eyes out a little more. The neck vein thing was perfect.
3.16.2005
Babadoo: Hey, Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: Huh?
Babadoo: What's the matter with President Bush?
Whabadoo: Why, what do you mean, Babadoo?
Babadoo: The global development community has to wonder exactly what it says about American plans for the World Bank that Bush has named a leading war planner to head the world's leading development agency.
Whabadoo: Huh? Why did Mario quit American Idol. I so sad now.
Whabadoo: Huh?
Babadoo: What's the matter with President Bush?
Whabadoo: Why, what do you mean, Babadoo?
Babadoo: The global development community has to wonder exactly what it says about American plans for the World Bank that Bush has named a leading war planner to head the world's leading development agency.
Whabadoo: Huh? Why did Mario quit American Idol. I so sad now.
Babadoo: The Internet wrote me again.
Whabadoo: What the Internet tell you this time?
Babadoo: The Internet say the doctor approve my prescription.
Whabadoo: Prescription? What's the matter this time?
Babadoo: I don't know, but the Internet told me it was time to refill.
Whabadoo: So you did?
Babadoo: Yea.
Whabadoo: Oh, Babdoo!!
Whabadoo: What the Internet tell you this time?
Babadoo: The Internet say the doctor approve my prescription.
Whabadoo: Prescription? What's the matter this time?
Babadoo: I don't know, but the Internet told me it was time to refill.
Whabadoo: So you did?
Babadoo: Yea.
Whabadoo: Oh, Babdoo!!
Whabadoo: Hey Babadoo, you wanna somke some of this?
Babadoo: OK.
[ten minutes later]
Whabadoo: Hey Babadoo.
Babadoo: What is it Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: I'm reading some quotes from Henry Miller you might like.
Babadoo: Oh, shit, he that pervert who write nastiness. Let's hear it Whabadoo.
Whabadoo: Yeah, but these aren't like that Babadoo, so calm yourself.
Babadoo: Then don't bother me; I'm looking at my fingers. Have you looked at your fingers recently Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: You're fucked up Babadoo. Listen to this one: “It's silly to go on pretending that under the skin we are all brothers. The truth is more likely that under the skin we are all cannibals, assassins, traitors, liars, hypocrites, poltroons.”
Babadoo: I tell you one thing I ain't, and that's a poltroon. Whabadoo, what the fuck is a poltroon? Is he from Mexico?
Whabadoo: I think it means coward, Babadoo.
Babadoo: Oh. He right. Hey, Whabadoo, are you an assassin?
Whabadoo: Babadoo, that was the worst Brando impersonation I've ever heard.
Babadoo: Brando? I was doing Nixon. Shit, look at these fingers!
Whabadoo: You got some hairy fingers, that are for sure.
Babadoo: Here's another: “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.”
Babadoo: Now you're talking. Wait, I'm lost...
Whabadoo: And: “not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves.”
Babadoo: Nope, still lost. What do you think they'd look like shaved Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: Don't shave your fingers Babadoo. What about this one: “Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. “
Babadoo: No, I think I'm going to shave them. Give me something sharp. I want smooth fingers, and I want them now.
Whabadoo: Fuck, you need to see some sunlight
Babadoo. He also says: “If shit is ever worth anything, the poor will be born without assholes.”
Babadoo: You know Steve, down at the corner store? He told me he has two. Two assholes. Shit.
Whabadoo. Babadoo, stay clear of Steve. You know he ain't right.
Babadoo: Why you got to be racist. Just because the guy's got two assholes...
Whabadoo: Racist? Babadoo, put down that goddamn knife. Listen: “We have two American flags always: one for the rich and one for the poor. When the rich fly it means that things are under control; when the poor fly it means danger, revolution, anarchy.”
Babadoo: It doesn't work. How can you shave with a knife? I'll be right back. Hey, Whabadoo, check out the cat.
Whabadoo: That cat's nuts. Why is he looking at us like that?
Babadoo: You feed him yet? I bet he hungry. He look hungry.
Whabadoo: Hey, here's another good one: “Imagination is the voice of daring. If there is anything Godlike about God it is that. He dared to imagine everything.”
Babadoo: I wish I had $5 of what he's on. Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: What is it Babadoo?
Babadoo: That cat, he still staring. Make him stop.
Whabadoo: Just ignore him Babadoo. He just fucking with you because he knows he can.
Babadoo: Damn.
Whabadoo: Damn.
Babadoo: Shit
Whabadoo: Just ignore him, I told you.
Babadoo: Damn
Whabadoo: OK, here's an appropriate one Babadoo: “We do not talk - we bludgeon one another with facts and theories gleaned from cursory readings of newspapers, magazines and digests.”
Babadoo: Yeah, I get it, hit me again, I can take it.
Whabadoo: “Music is a beautiful opiate, if you don't take it too seriously. The waking mind is the least serviceable in the arts.”
“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely AWARE.”
Babadoo: OK, OK, enough. Let me see your fingers. I want to try something...
Whabadoo: Babadoo, you're fucked up. One last one to think about: “Whenever a taboo is broken, something good happens, something vitalizing. Taboos after all are only hangovers, the product of diseased minds, you might say, of fearsome people who hadn't the courage to live and who under the guise of morality and religion have imposed these things upon us.”
Babadoo: Yeah. Taboos. Come here and give me a big sloppy kiss Whabadoo.
Whabadoo: Shit, Babadoo. What would the cat think? “When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes.”
Babadoo: OK.
[ten minutes later]
Whabadoo: Hey Babadoo.
Babadoo: What is it Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: I'm reading some quotes from Henry Miller you might like.
Babadoo: Oh, shit, he that pervert who write nastiness. Let's hear it Whabadoo.
Whabadoo: Yeah, but these aren't like that Babadoo, so calm yourself.
Babadoo: Then don't bother me; I'm looking at my fingers. Have you looked at your fingers recently Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: You're fucked up Babadoo. Listen to this one: “It's silly to go on pretending that under the skin we are all brothers. The truth is more likely that under the skin we are all cannibals, assassins, traitors, liars, hypocrites, poltroons.”
Babadoo: I tell you one thing I ain't, and that's a poltroon. Whabadoo, what the fuck is a poltroon? Is he from Mexico?
Whabadoo: I think it means coward, Babadoo.
Babadoo: Oh. He right. Hey, Whabadoo, are you an assassin?
Whabadoo: Babadoo, that was the worst Brando impersonation I've ever heard.
Babadoo: Brando? I was doing Nixon. Shit, look at these fingers!
Whabadoo: You got some hairy fingers, that are for sure.
Babadoo: Here's another: “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.”
Babadoo: Now you're talking. Wait, I'm lost...
Whabadoo: And: “not till we have lost the world, do we begin to find ourselves.”
Babadoo: Nope, still lost. What do you think they'd look like shaved Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: Don't shave your fingers Babadoo. What about this one: “Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. “
Babadoo: No, I think I'm going to shave them. Give me something sharp. I want smooth fingers, and I want them now.
Whabadoo: Fuck, you need to see some sunlight
Babadoo. He also says: “If shit is ever worth anything, the poor will be born without assholes.”
Babadoo: You know Steve, down at the corner store? He told me he has two. Two assholes. Shit.
Whabadoo. Babadoo, stay clear of Steve. You know he ain't right.
Babadoo: Why you got to be racist. Just because the guy's got two assholes...
Whabadoo: Racist? Babadoo, put down that goddamn knife. Listen: “We have two American flags always: one for the rich and one for the poor. When the rich fly it means that things are under control; when the poor fly it means danger, revolution, anarchy.”
Babadoo: It doesn't work. How can you shave with a knife? I'll be right back. Hey, Whabadoo, check out the cat.
Whabadoo: That cat's nuts. Why is he looking at us like that?
Babadoo: You feed him yet? I bet he hungry. He look hungry.
Whabadoo: Hey, here's another good one: “Imagination is the voice of daring. If there is anything Godlike about God it is that. He dared to imagine everything.”
Babadoo: I wish I had $5 of what he's on. Whabadoo?
Whabadoo: What is it Babadoo?
Babadoo: That cat, he still staring. Make him stop.
Whabadoo: Just ignore him Babadoo. He just fucking with you because he knows he can.
Babadoo: Damn.
Whabadoo: Damn.
Babadoo: Shit
Whabadoo: Just ignore him, I told you.
Babadoo: Damn
Whabadoo: OK, here's an appropriate one Babadoo: “We do not talk - we bludgeon one another with facts and theories gleaned from cursory readings of newspapers, magazines and digests.”
Babadoo: Yeah, I get it, hit me again, I can take it.
Whabadoo: “Music is a beautiful opiate, if you don't take it too seriously. The waking mind is the least serviceable in the arts.”
“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely AWARE.”
Babadoo: OK, OK, enough. Let me see your fingers. I want to try something...
Whabadoo: Babadoo, you're fucked up. One last one to think about: “Whenever a taboo is broken, something good happens, something vitalizing. Taboos after all are only hangovers, the product of diseased minds, you might say, of fearsome people who hadn't the courage to live and who under the guise of morality and religion have imposed these things upon us.”
Babadoo: Yeah. Taboos. Come here and give me a big sloppy kiss Whabadoo.
Whabadoo: Shit, Babadoo. What would the cat think? “When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes.”
3.14.2005
3.11.2005
3.10.2005
3.09.2005
3.08.2005
Blogging? Blogs? Blogger? What the hell is that all about, anyhow? Stupid, overly self-intersted, self-absorbed kids today. Like anyone cares about what anyone else is thinking or doing. Really?!
Hi! How are you? I'm bored too.
Uh, yeah, TTBOTT, odd, huh? I don't find it so odd. It's all true, all honest. If you were to poke my head with a sharpened stick, it's what would have come out yesterday. Tomorrow? Maybe something entirely different would leak. Right?
But, people need to remember my truth is to the middlespaces. And "middlespace" is still defined as: middlespace is the interpretive manifestation of thoughts and ideas as expressed within the context of personal or intimate experiential journeys.
Middlespace: that place...
I set out to make a middlespace album and I will make more. If I cared about mass appeal, I'd never make art. Art is personal. Art runs parallel to emotions; to psychology. Craft is something entirely different. Mass appeal is greatly overappreciated. But, let's never forget the power of the muse.
So, TTBOTT, odd, huh? It's a story, like the bible.
Hi! How are you? I'm bored too.
Uh, yeah, TTBOTT, odd, huh? I don't find it so odd. It's all true, all honest. If you were to poke my head with a sharpened stick, it's what would have come out yesterday. Tomorrow? Maybe something entirely different would leak. Right?
But, people need to remember my truth is to the middlespaces. And "middlespace" is still defined as: middlespace is the interpretive manifestation of thoughts and ideas as expressed within the context of personal or intimate experiential journeys.
Middlespace: that place...
I set out to make a middlespace album and I will make more. If I cared about mass appeal, I'd never make art. Art is personal. Art runs parallel to emotions; to psychology. Craft is something entirely different. Mass appeal is greatly overappreciated. But, let's never forget the power of the muse.
So, TTBOTT, odd, huh? It's a story, like the bible.
What are "they" saying about "take the branches off the trees"?
[the context doesn't really matter]
- "It's really fucking good...good shit."
- "How the fuck do expect me, as a rational human being, to respond to this?! How am I SUPPOSED to respond...to THAT?! What the FUCK was...was THAT?!"
- "There are no words."
- I listened to ttbott...while we painted designs on shirts. It's really fucking good. Perfect for listening while smoking, drawing - even without headphones, great. I mean, I knew there was more going on in the track...but that really didn't detract any. We listened to Bauhaus after - freaky good shit.
- "...kind of made me a little sick."
- "There is some arrogance there, as in, while I listen, I know some things will be completely beyond nearly every other mortal, but I understand it."
- "Dude, there is shit in there that I get, believe me, I get it, but what the FUCK was that?!"
- "How is the rest of the world supposed to react to that?"
- "Genius."
- "...startled the hell out of me."
- "...fucking weird."
- "I think it's definitely in a new genre of music."
- "It was genius. I just have no idea what just happened."
- "I don't think most people would be willing to appreciate the longer tracks like 12 which are dense and difficult to understand."
- "They're mind drifting tracks."
[the context doesn't really matter]
- "It's really fucking good...good shit."
- "How the fuck do expect me, as a rational human being, to respond to this?! How am I SUPPOSED to respond...to THAT?! What the FUCK was...was THAT?!"
- "There are no words."
- I listened to ttbott...while we painted designs on shirts. It's really fucking good. Perfect for listening while smoking, drawing - even without headphones, great. I mean, I knew there was more going on in the track...but that really didn't detract any. We listened to Bauhaus after - freaky good shit.
- "...kind of made me a little sick."
- "There is some arrogance there, as in, while I listen, I know some things will be completely beyond nearly every other mortal, but I understand it."
- "Dude, there is shit in there that I get, believe me, I get it, but what the FUCK was that?!"
- "How is the rest of the world supposed to react to that?"
- "Genius."
- "...startled the hell out of me."
- "...fucking weird."
- "I think it's definitely in a new genre of music."
- "It was genius. I just have no idea what just happened."
- "I don't think most people would be willing to appreciate the longer tracks like 12 which are dense and difficult to understand."
- "They're mind drifting tracks."
3.07.2005
so, "take the branches off the trees" is done, now that the remaining album images are up. [here, fool]
i'm releived. tired. rehabilitating.
but, secretly ready to start the next record (i'm ready to go higher concept).
Bush is still not governing in my best interest.
i'm releived. tired. rehabilitating.
but, secretly ready to start the next record (i'm ready to go higher concept).
Bush is still not governing in my best interest.
3.03.2005
In comparison:
This new tKoL album...jesus, where to start? First it's a "tKoL" album, not a "the Kingdom of Leisure" album, just tKoL.
It's a history text, an encyclopedia. It's an adventure. There are specific lessons to be learned, mostly about me. So, yeah, it's a bit autobiographical. It's patient and the listener has to be a little patient as well.
I'm not trying to hype anyone, I don't really care for that. But, there's a story; a plan. It may suck, but I lost a bit of myself in this process, I probably shortened my life by a couple of years. I don't know. I'm happy it's done and I survived it. I learned a lot too.
This new tKoL album...jesus, where to start? First it's a "tKoL" album, not a "the Kingdom of Leisure" album, just tKoL.
It's a history text, an encyclopedia. It's an adventure. There are specific lessons to be learned, mostly about me. So, yeah, it's a bit autobiographical. It's patient and the listener has to be a little patient as well.
I'm not trying to hype anyone, I don't really care for that. But, there's a story; a plan. It may suck, but I lost a bit of myself in this process, I probably shortened my life by a couple of years. I don't know. I'm happy it's done and I survived it. I learned a lot too.
STUDIO DIARY
That's it. Anticlimatic, huh?
Major recording operations for this album have ended.
I just need to spend some time EQing, balancing, finishing touches, you know. Maybe even find places to scale back, but I'll probably talk myself out of that.
Okay, the artwork still needs to be done and some sort of packaging effort.
But, the album is done.
That's it. Anticlimatic, huh?
Major recording operations for this album have ended.
I just need to spend some time EQing, balancing, finishing touches, you know. Maybe even find places to scale back, but I'll probably talk myself out of that.
Okay, the artwork still needs to be done and some sort of packaging effort.
But, the album is done.
2.22.2005
He Just Knew it was Over
"It is his special curse: to be able to fill his body with alcohol and drugs, and always have it function; never to be able to blot out what he has seen, what he knows. And looking around, he knows that it is over: the revolution, the fighting, the chance to be different. The counterculture has become The Culture, and out there in the streets is the proof...." (1976)
- Robert Sam Anson
"It is his special curse: to be able to fill his body with alcohol and drugs, and always have it function; never to be able to blot out what he has seen, what he knows. And looking around, he knows that it is over: the revolution, the fighting, the chance to be different. The counterculture has become The Culture, and out there in the streets is the proof...." (1976)
- Robert Sam Anson
2.18.2005
STUDIO DIARY
I've been hand's off, for the most part. I need space. Space to forget. Space for the ears to heal. Space to think.
Needless to say, the record is always on my mind. In everything I do.
Listening to everything: music, sounds, noise, rumblings...words.
Getting closer. Will it be the masterpiece? Dunno. Will it be laughable shit? Dunno.
I see the mountain of work left, but am already saddened that it has to come to a conclusion.
Albums are trippy like that.
I've been hand's off, for the most part. I need space. Space to forget. Space for the ears to heal. Space to think.
Needless to say, the record is always on my mind. In everything I do.
Listening to everything: music, sounds, noise, rumblings...words.
Getting closer. Will it be the masterpiece? Dunno. Will it be laughable shit? Dunno.
I see the mountain of work left, but am already saddened that it has to come to a conclusion.
Albums are trippy like that.
2.10.2005
2.09.2005
Cleverness is never as entertaining as blatant stupidity, failure and public humiliation.... The time of getting fame for your name on its own is over. Artwork that is only about wanting to be famous will never make you famous. Any fame is a bi-product of making something that means something. You don't go to a restaurant and order a meal because you want to have a shit.- Banksy
From late 1998:
It's a Very Different World Again
Between all this Presidential blow-job cover-up nonsense and the bombing of terrorists (us & them, here & abroad), our world is again a very different place. Privacy doesn't exist. Peace does not exist. We've fooled ourselves to believe that they both exist. Our culture stagnates while cigar bars flourish. How did we become so deluded? Well, times have been good. Money is in the bank. Porsche sales are at an all time high. Well, believe me, there are more desperate poor in America today than at any other time. There are more people in prison in America than at any other time. The good old USofA has more internal and external enemies than at any other time. But times are good, remember.
This is a country for the young and the rich. If you are not either, you are nothing. If you are both, you're fat and happy (Americans are the fattest beasts on the planet). Why are we so consumed with Presidential fellatio? Why does the TV news compete to dictate what is important? We've forgotten what's important...because times have been so good. Individuals have grown selfish and narrow. The American economy is strong and the rich and the young are in control. Have you watched network television or listened to commercial radio lately? We live in happy-talk times, folks. We're dim to the ills of our own old and poor and we are completely blind to the relevant issues of the world. We're over-sensationalized ourselves into a coma. History predicts change.
For those who keep our eyes open and our ears to the ground, it's in the air. Things change. Someone has to take advantage.
It's a Very Different World Again
Between all this Presidential blow-job cover-up nonsense and the bombing of terrorists (us & them, here & abroad), our world is again a very different place. Privacy doesn't exist. Peace does not exist. We've fooled ourselves to believe that they both exist. Our culture stagnates while cigar bars flourish. How did we become so deluded? Well, times have been good. Money is in the bank. Porsche sales are at an all time high. Well, believe me, there are more desperate poor in America today than at any other time. There are more people in prison in America than at any other time. The good old USofA has more internal and external enemies than at any other time. But times are good, remember.
This is a country for the young and the rich. If you are not either, you are nothing. If you are both, you're fat and happy (Americans are the fattest beasts on the planet). Why are we so consumed with Presidential fellatio? Why does the TV news compete to dictate what is important? We've forgotten what's important...because times have been so good. Individuals have grown selfish and narrow. The American economy is strong and the rich and the young are in control. Have you watched network television or listened to commercial radio lately? We live in happy-talk times, folks. We're dim to the ills of our own old and poor and we are completely blind to the relevant issues of the world. We're over-sensationalized ourselves into a coma. History predicts change.
For those who keep our eyes open and our ears to the ground, it's in the air. Things change. Someone has to take advantage.
2.08.2005
On another note, I'm almost at the point with this new record where I sell a few more bones to the devil and leave a pint of blood on the floor. The point where one puts one's heart into the project. Sometimes that comes early and you clean it up in production. Sometimes you do the left brain stuff up front and build a solid foundation, then you color out of the lines.
Once I cocoa up, I think I can put the emotion in and go into the middlespace. I may or may not come out with shoes.
I'm almost there. It's a defining point; the point where the result is art or product. The point where, if you're lucky, you fall squarely onto the favorable side of the conceptually stellar ^ random nonesense razor.
Once I cocoa up, I think I can put the emotion in and go into the middlespace. I may or may not come out with shoes.
I'm almost there. It's a defining point; the point where the result is art or product. The point where, if you're lucky, you fall squarely onto the favorable side of the conceptually stellar ^ random nonesense razor.
2.07.2005
STUDIO DIARY
Something was bothering me. Specifically, I couldn't pinpoint. But, something was wrong with track seven, The Mighty Judge.
After the preliminary mixdown, I knew that it would require major work to make it usable. At some point a couple of nights ago, I woke up, went down stairs and deleter track seven. Scrapped in total. Delete, are you sure? Yes! Bye-bye.
I've never flet better.
The replacement tune, tentatively titled Track Seven, makes me happy. Very happy. It's not nearly as technically difficult or conceptually challenging, but it's warm and cozy. Safe.
Good for me.
Something was bothering me. Specifically, I couldn't pinpoint. But, something was wrong with track seven, The Mighty Judge.
After the preliminary mixdown, I knew that it would require major work to make it usable. At some point a couple of nights ago, I woke up, went down stairs and deleter track seven. Scrapped in total. Delete, are you sure? Yes! Bye-bye.
I've never flet better.
The replacement tune, tentatively titled Track Seven, makes me happy. Very happy. It's not nearly as technically difficult or conceptually challenging, but it's warm and cozy. Safe.
Good for me.
2.04.2005
STUDIO DIARY
First full-length mix-down today.
Some stuff finished, some with great potential. Some work remaining, some fixes and adjustments to be made. Lots of nitpicky crafting to accomplish. Perfection to attain.
At one section of the seventh cut, I wrote in my notes "More sonic adventures?" Is that possible? What does this piece of work mean?
At ~45 minutes it's already pretty dense (and strange (and confusing (and fucking beautiful!))).
I guess the good news is I did find 18 seconds to cut...
There's a couple of months left in this project yet.
Today's words of wisdom: What may sound great on headphones may sound completely ridiculous on speakers.
First full-length mix-down today.
Some stuff finished, some with great potential. Some work remaining, some fixes and adjustments to be made. Lots of nitpicky crafting to accomplish. Perfection to attain.
At one section of the seventh cut, I wrote in my notes "More sonic adventures?" Is that possible? What does this piece of work mean?
At ~45 minutes it's already pretty dense (and strange (and confusing (and fucking beautiful!))).
I guess the good news is I did find 18 seconds to cut...
There's a couple of months left in this project yet.
Today's words of wisdom: What may sound great on headphones may sound completely ridiculous on speakers.
2.01.2005
1.31.2005
STUDIO DIARY
TY: This album is getting weird, even for me. It's kind of scaring me, but I have no context or feedback. So far it's completely in a vacuum. I just hope it doesn't suck.
DAVE: I hope it doesn't either. What an embarrassment and tremendous waste of time it would be for you if it did.
OK, just echoing your fears. Of course that's not true! I guess that's the way you start to feel sometimes when you tell someone you're going to do something as opposed to doing it first. It can get in the way, the expectations, or imagined expectations I should say. Okay, just projecting my fears on you.
Weird and scary. I like it already.
TY: What's interesting is I'm working on projects all the time - constantly - most of those no one sees or hears. They're just filed away, maybe for practice for sharpness. But, I stay somewhat productive: writing, photos, design, music/sound. And, I'm thinking about art all the time. But, nobody knows or cares, right?
But, by announcing, "Hey, look at me, I'm gonna make a new album, aren't I cool and interesting?!" it intentionally puts a great deal of pressure on me, self-inflected pressures. I become very sensitized and cognizant of expectations. Rich, Dave, Dan, three or four others...me! Each step of the process becomes double-filtered: What I want to do and what impact will it have on/for others. Makes it hard, but helps me build in surprises or the unexpected. Makes me work for quality. Makes me sweat the details.
And expectations are great. For me and hopefully for others. I mean, what could people possibly think this will sound like? That's so interesting to me. I mean, what if I produce a clean, professional, pop album full of light, safe topics? I mean, we killed god on OFR. What if it just sucked? Everything about it, sloppy technique, bad ideas, amateurish attempt at being relevant or a desperate attempt at being fresh? Happens all the time; artists lose it, writers get blocked, rock stars buy the act and cannot see the forest any more. Happens all the time.
I don't know. I still feel that most people will never get what I do. That's why my attended audiences are so small. Hopefully, maybe Brennan can do this, someday my lifelong body of work will be placed into some context. Or, maybe it'll just die with me like my deepest, darkest secrets.
Suck or not, it'll take years for me to understand or appreciate the efforts. I'm just beginning to understand my earlier work.
TY: This album is getting weird, even for me. It's kind of scaring me, but I have no context or feedback. So far it's completely in a vacuum. I just hope it doesn't suck.
DAVE: I hope it doesn't either. What an embarrassment and tremendous waste of time it would be for you if it did.
OK, just echoing your fears. Of course that's not true! I guess that's the way you start to feel sometimes when you tell someone you're going to do something as opposed to doing it first. It can get in the way, the expectations, or imagined expectations I should say. Okay, just projecting my fears on you.
Weird and scary. I like it already.
TY: What's interesting is I'm working on projects all the time - constantly - most of those no one sees or hears. They're just filed away, maybe for practice for sharpness. But, I stay somewhat productive: writing, photos, design, music/sound. And, I'm thinking about art all the time. But, nobody knows or cares, right?
But, by announcing, "Hey, look at me, I'm gonna make a new album, aren't I cool and interesting?!" it intentionally puts a great deal of pressure on me, self-inflected pressures. I become very sensitized and cognizant of expectations. Rich, Dave, Dan, three or four others...me! Each step of the process becomes double-filtered: What I want to do and what impact will it have on/for others. Makes it hard, but helps me build in surprises or the unexpected. Makes me work for quality. Makes me sweat the details.
And expectations are great. For me and hopefully for others. I mean, what could people possibly think this will sound like? That's so interesting to me. I mean, what if I produce a clean, professional, pop album full of light, safe topics? I mean, we killed god on OFR. What if it just sucked? Everything about it, sloppy technique, bad ideas, amateurish attempt at being relevant or a desperate attempt at being fresh? Happens all the time; artists lose it, writers get blocked, rock stars buy the act and cannot see the forest any more. Happens all the time.
I don't know. I still feel that most people will never get what I do. That's why my attended audiences are so small. Hopefully, maybe Brennan can do this, someday my lifelong body of work will be placed into some context. Or, maybe it'll just die with me like my deepest, darkest secrets.
Suck or not, it'll take years for me to understand or appreciate the efforts. I'm just beginning to understand my earlier work.
1.28.2005
1.23.2005
1.22.2005
1.17.2005
1.10.2005
1.04.2005
Daniel Lefcourt is a non-painter's painter.
He's an artist who happens to make paintings—although maybe this could be said of all painters.
He's an artist who happens to make paintings—although maybe this could be said of all painters.
Studio Diary - Ponderings
Why do I even have to describe what I do to anyone (anymore)? Maybe it's that I don't understand what it is anymore.
Is it that I aspire to make music or complicated sound patterns? Sometimes I use the word "music" to describe what I do. Whatever it is I do. Art. Whatever art is. Knob turning, sampling, stealing, amusing.
Some sounds are appealing, some not. But this is a case of individual differences... "Dissonance is my harmony; chaos is my rhythm."
Can you feel that baby
It's called Funkadelic music
It will blow your funky mind
Yeah!
Twenty questions from a course in Music Cognition:
Why do people make music?
How do composers know what to write?
How does music give pleasure?
Are musical preferences related to personality?
Why do we need so much music and so much musical variety -- why don't we limit our listening to just the dozen best works?
Does music always have to involve sounds?
Are there certain life experiences that contribute to a person's understanding of music?
Why are melody and rhythm so important in music?
What makes something "musical"?
How are musical memories stored in the brain?
How does repeated listening to a work change our experience of it?
How does music evoke emotions?
How is it that some people are able to improvise music?
Is music a spiritual phenomenon?
Are there musical hallucinations?
Can drugs enhance musical pleasure?
Are there brain structures specialized for just music?
Does a music tell us something about the people who make it?
Are there different ways of "listening"?
What is the relationship between music and the other arts?
Why do I even have to describe what I do to anyone (anymore)? Maybe it's that I don't understand what it is anymore.
Is it that I aspire to make music or complicated sound patterns? Sometimes I use the word "music" to describe what I do. Whatever it is I do. Art. Whatever art is. Knob turning, sampling, stealing, amusing.
Some sounds are appealing, some not. But this is a case of individual differences... "Dissonance is my harmony; chaos is my rhythm."
Can you feel that baby
It's called Funkadelic music
It will blow your funky mind
Yeah!
Twenty questions from a course in Music Cognition:
Why do people make music?
How do composers know what to write?
How does music give pleasure?
Are musical preferences related to personality?
Why do we need so much music and so much musical variety -- why don't we limit our listening to just the dozen best works?
Does music always have to involve sounds?
Are there certain life experiences that contribute to a person's understanding of music?
Why are melody and rhythm so important in music?
What makes something "musical"?
How are musical memories stored in the brain?
How does repeated listening to a work change our experience of it?
How does music evoke emotions?
How is it that some people are able to improvise music?
Is music a spiritual phenomenon?
Are there musical hallucinations?
Can drugs enhance musical pleasure?
Are there brain structures specialized for just music?
Does a music tell us something about the people who make it?
Are there different ways of "listening"?
What is the relationship between music and the other arts?
12.31.2004
Studio Diary - Discussions
A Four-Way:
Although I’ve gained a newfound appreciation for the song (the craft, hooks, construction, etc.), I cannot remove myself from the album. The big piece, the opera, the whole rodeo. It’s like continents fitting together to form a planet, or better, finding the right planets to construct the perfect solar system. Song = hard. Album = impossible. Why sell your art short?
I just had a complete shift in thought. I have always been pro-album. As in the songs should be taken in context, the album as "whole," etc, that kind of shit, you know what I mean.
Noise, amp buzz, street sounds, it's all part of the final package.
You’re right about wanting that message in a bottle to come back to you. I mean, what do you put in a bottle you throw in the ocean? Your address so you can get it back. But getting it back isn't the important thing, it's the person bringing it back - you FOUND that person. You and this person are now connected in a way you aren't with anyone else. Possibly this is the person you were looking for? Or maybe it's to see if you can effect change over great distances in space or time. Yeah, that too.
For example, I prefer headphones and conceptual, obtusely narrative albums because those aid me in the hijacking. The experiences I create are intended for full immersion rather than background or sing along music. And it's has more than a little to do with the fact that I don't perform live anymore. And the experience, if successful, should continue after listening by posing questions, leaving messages, creating mysteries, and establishing a compelling and reflective (if imaginary) world to be considered between listenings.
Being half white/half black, I’ve always felt comfortable making both highly uncomfortable. That’s why I drove people like R.J. crazy. Not from a race perspective, but they can’t comprehend what I’m doing or what I’ll do next.
I’ve always wrapped my art around the conceptual. As far as audiences, I maintain that I make stuff for a limited audience, but I really make stuff for me to rediscover many years in the future, what I call future gifting. I’ve spent most of my adult life stumbling across future gifts. It’s like finding stash from last winter in your heavy coat.
I wish I had a pony.
We, the family, were talking over the holiday about the supposed demise of albums (CDs, etc.) because, as we are being told by some pundits, everything will be available electronically and everyone will just go out and download (buy or not) what they want to hear, etc. We all agreed that this won't happen as quickly as some say (some are saying by the end of this year). As I was listening to "The Wall" (the album), one of Petey's presents, I realized another reason it won't happen that easily: many albums exist in their form for a reason. Albums are wholes with the parts generally in intentional arrangements. Infinite mixing, unlimited electronic shuffling would be tantamount for many albums, many artists, to shuffle reading a novel -- chapter 12, chapter 3, chapter 43, chapter 8, chapter 34. (Of course, I suppose albums can become single files -- i.e., a single "son.")
Anyhow, good you're working on this. Must be a creative thing in the air. About a month ago I began working on a bread cookbook that I have been mulling over for years (I do a lot of bread baking - have published many recipes). Something in the air?
A Four-Way:
Although I’ve gained a newfound appreciation for the song (the craft, hooks, construction, etc.), I cannot remove myself from the album. The big piece, the opera, the whole rodeo. It’s like continents fitting together to form a planet, or better, finding the right planets to construct the perfect solar system. Song = hard. Album = impossible. Why sell your art short?
I just had a complete shift in thought. I have always been pro-album. As in the songs should be taken in context, the album as "whole," etc, that kind of shit, you know what I mean.
Noise, amp buzz, street sounds, it's all part of the final package.
You’re right about wanting that message in a bottle to come back to you. I mean, what do you put in a bottle you throw in the ocean? Your address so you can get it back. But getting it back isn't the important thing, it's the person bringing it back - you FOUND that person. You and this person are now connected in a way you aren't with anyone else. Possibly this is the person you were looking for? Or maybe it's to see if you can effect change over great distances in space or time. Yeah, that too.
For example, I prefer headphones and conceptual, obtusely narrative albums because those aid me in the hijacking. The experiences I create are intended for full immersion rather than background or sing along music. And it's has more than a little to do with the fact that I don't perform live anymore. And the experience, if successful, should continue after listening by posing questions, leaving messages, creating mysteries, and establishing a compelling and reflective (if imaginary) world to be considered between listenings.
Being half white/half black, I’ve always felt comfortable making both highly uncomfortable. That’s why I drove people like R.J. crazy. Not from a race perspective, but they can’t comprehend what I’m doing or what I’ll do next.
I’ve always wrapped my art around the conceptual. As far as audiences, I maintain that I make stuff for a limited audience, but I really make stuff for me to rediscover many years in the future, what I call future gifting. I’ve spent most of my adult life stumbling across future gifts. It’s like finding stash from last winter in your heavy coat.
I wish I had a pony.
We, the family, were talking over the holiday about the supposed demise of albums (CDs, etc.) because, as we are being told by some pundits, everything will be available electronically and everyone will just go out and download (buy or not) what they want to hear, etc. We all agreed that this won't happen as quickly as some say (some are saying by the end of this year). As I was listening to "The Wall" (the album), one of Petey's presents, I realized another reason it won't happen that easily: many albums exist in their form for a reason. Albums are wholes with the parts generally in intentional arrangements. Infinite mixing, unlimited electronic shuffling would be tantamount for many albums, many artists, to shuffle reading a novel -- chapter 12, chapter 3, chapter 43, chapter 8, chapter 34. (Of course, I suppose albums can become single files -- i.e., a single "son.")
Anyhow, good you're working on this. Must be a creative thing in the air. About a month ago I began working on a bread cookbook that I have been mulling over for years (I do a lot of bread baking - have published many recipes). Something in the air?
12.30.2004
Studio Diary - two
Yeah, I've had a similar shift too.
I enjoy songs. If a group is not up to an album, they make two good songs and fill with shit.
I've just started a new project. I'll know when I'm finished. Maybe a couple long songs, or an album. I don't know yet.
But, it won't contain a bunch of filler since I'm not making it for a corporation and have "contractual obligations."
But, there are still classic and perfect albums; full pieces that deserve the room.
But, yeah the fucking devil. Great title, by the way: "The Fucking Devil"
12.29.2004
STUDIO DIARY - one
Excuses behind me, loads of work before me.
Department of Experimental Accounting.
Drums
Guitar - acoustic
Guitar - electric
Piano - baby grand, out of tune
Keyboard
Toy piano
Soprano Ukulele
Bass - electro/acoustic
Years of recorded samples and field recordings
Bunch of other shit
Tsunami
I'm getting kind of old to again make the best album ever. This might be it. You know, "it."
The Floods of Lexington Pacheco
Music to Nod-off to
Funeral
Dark
Joyous
Stolen Democracy
Here we go...all these ideas I've incubated (all somehow magically lost right now) over the years are ready to do something.
The best thing about this effort will be getting it out of my head.
Excuses behind me, loads of work before me.
Department of Experimental Accounting.
Drums
Guitar - acoustic
Guitar - electric
Piano - baby grand, out of tune
Keyboard
Toy piano
Soprano Ukulele
Bass - electro/acoustic
Years of recorded samples and field recordings
Bunch of other shit
Tsunami
I'm getting kind of old to again make the best album ever. This might be it. You know, "it."
The Floods of Lexington Pacheco
Music to Nod-off to
Funeral
Dark
Joyous
Stolen Democracy
Here we go...all these ideas I've incubated (all somehow magically lost right now) over the years are ready to do something.
The best thing about this effort will be getting it out of my head.
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