Senator George Allen
Virginia
USA
Dear Senator Allen,
Shana Tova!
Believe me, I know the feeling. Weird, huh? Jewish law is Jewish law, my brother. Welcome to the tribe (and I don't mean the Cleveland Indians). Whew!
Take your time. Search your soul and figure out your place (our place) in the world.
You might feel a whole lot better if you gave Macaca a quick ring and ask for a little forgiveness. One core value of Judaism revolves around how we say and what we say (you know, "Welcome to America").
And don't worry about being president, my brother, because that just ain't gonna happen. You're not just any old asshole anymore, you're a Jewish, surfer, cowboy, wannabe redneck asshole.
Your tribe-mate,
-ty
