Hey, That's the Shit!

Police in Germany are hunting pranksters who have been sticking miniature flag portraits of US President George W. Bush into piles of dog shit in public parks. Josef Oettl, parks administrator for Bayreuth, said: "This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2,000 to 3,000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time."

The series of incidents was originally thought to be some sort of protest against the US-led invasion of Iraq. And then when it continued it was thought to be a protest against President George W. Bush's campaign for re-election. But it is still going on and the police say they are completely baffled as to who is to blame. "We have sent out extra patrols to try to catch whoever is doing this in the act," said police spokesman Reiner Kuechler. "But frankly, we don't know what we would do if we caught them red handed." Legal experts say there is no law against using feces as a flag stand and the federal constitution is vague on the issue.

Obtain your own supply of lawn signs. A Seattle printer (the source of the "Bush = Lies" stickers) is ready to run off a batch, 1.5 x 6 inches with two images, adhesive backed. To use you simply peel, fold around a stick or straw or branch or whatever, and place the flag. Note: A diagonal slash across the image creates an internationally understood message for non-excrement use (such as flower pots).

The cost? Cheap. Cost per sticker based on print run:

1,000 printed = $0.33/sticker ($20 buys you about 60)
2,000 printed = $0.18/sticker ($20 buys you about 110)
5,000 printed = $even less/sticker

If you're interested, let me know the quantity and I'll order based on the total. Contact friends and add to your order! Great as presents, too (minus the dog shit).