East Summer West 2007
by Christine McGuinness and Ty Hardaway
clicky for teaser I] teaser I
[clicky for projectinfo] beginning of project info
You might remember "Mold Man" from a previous Ask Ty! Well, we've made the move to the common room, and I'm happy to say that he's nowhere near as moldy as before.Ty: Good question and an even better observation, HA. And, you're right! Ask Ty! would be a great spot for Priceless Banter (the Kingdom of Leisure show starring Todd Hawking & Rich Rawlings). Priceless Banter (or "PB" as the kids say) is a show about a show, you know. Kind of like Jerry! but with much more of the swearing. It's full of illegal calls, copyright infringements, and other malicious and deliberate activities that we can get a way with since there is not attorney general now that AG Antonio Banderas has resigned. It would be great to do Ask Ty! on the big show. I could even make it "funny" or "irreverent." Gee. Thanks, HA.
The problem now, though, is the same guy, who sits a mere 20 feet from me, throughout the day, makes these loud hog-like snorts. He'll make several of them in a row, and maybe do it five or six times a day. I guess everyone else in the room is pretending not to hear it, because no one has said anything about it.
Ty, why is he doing this, and how can I get him to stop?
- Hog Adverse AKA Trippin' Mold While Working for the Man
(Hey, I think Ask Ty! would be a good segment for Priceless Banter)
Weight Loss? Shut Up, Fatty, and Run a Mile or SomethingBy 'em today!
Social Problems? Shut Up, Loser, and Get a Life or Something
Anorexia? Shut Up, Boney, and Eat a Sandwich or Something
Slow? Shut Up, Retard, and Read a Book or Something
Poor? Shut Up, Free School Lunchy, and Get a Job or Something
Pimples? Shut Up, Zitty, and Wash your Face or Something
Questioning? Shut Up, Homo, and Enjoy Being Gay or Something
Drinking Problem? Shut Up, Lush, and Sober Up or Something
Pregnant? Shut Up, Preggo, and Raise Your Kid or Something
Aging Issues? Shut Up, Grandpa, and Live Before You Die or Something
Does God Exist? Shut Up, Zealot, and Learn About Science or Something
"Is this something people listen to live, or is it prerecorded? What's the format and length? Is it centered around music, or you two talking live or more of an edited thing?"Shit Dave! This is why you're the producer. You think we have any answers? Half-hour shows, weekly or periodically. Talk, music, interviews, contests. You know, the Merv Griffin show.
I don't know the best case would be if you two were in the same room (or on the corner), Rich with his guitar and harmonica, Ty with his drums, just chatting, and sometimes the chat kinda flows in to one of your songs or just free form playing, intermixed with "hey, lets give X a call."Dave, you are the worst producer ever. Corner? We live 3,000 miles apart and you're in Florida. What corner...the corner of Arkansas and Oklahoma? Do we have to do everything? Skype and Encamm recorder. We can have instruments going into the computer, or whatever. Dang, man! Then we can call or whatever. We'll get you and Chuck and others to submit music. Go back to producing school, dude.
If you can do that over the phone, that would be great - maybe have your instruments miced (how do you spell miced anyway?) in to the phone somehow."
"Much appreciation for cluing me into TBSOWFMU."
The L'il H!You marry the "concept" of the Hummer (H1 > H2 > H3 > The L'il H!) with the platform of the Chevy HHR. Put a fast engine in the bastard and market it to high school graduates.
The Black Sites - A rare look inside the C.I.A.’s secret interrogation program.Read!
by Jane Mayer
High and Mighty - Lil Wayne takes over hip-hop.
by Sasha Frere-Jones
Falling - Can you parachute twenty-five miles and survive?
by Burkhard Bilger
An Error in the Code - What can a rare disorder tell us about human behavior?
"I've never believed a home run ball belonged to the player. If he caught it, it's his."-Barry Bonds, Home Run King
"I'm Matt Murphy from Queens, N.Y."- Matt Murphy from Queens, who caught 756
"I move over now and offer my best wishes to Barry and his family on this historic achievement."- Hank Aaron, video tribute
"[My new Barry Bonds] jersey hung proud in my office last week. It was my middle finger to the baseball world and those outside of baseball who had made judgment and jury on Bonds being the devil."- Scoop Jackson, ESPN
"Fuck you, old man, clap when you go to see history and it happens."- LAist, "Is Bud Selig a Racist or does he Just Hate Baseball?"
[Administrative note: Speaking of numbers, this is Middlespace Live post #404 for the year. 404 is the total from last year. Last year had the most Middlespace Live posts. I'm a geek.]
"The most common thing I see people saying on message boards and Internet blogs is, "I showed it to my friends and they hated it. They don't get it, but I love it." So, you know… I don't want to call it an acquired taste, but Achewood has to catch you at the right moment."
"Oh, I've gone through periods where I've totally lost perspective on life. I've gone through mini-Brian Wilson periods, where I won't answer the phone for like weeks at a time. Just afraid of the world, or so focused on what I'm doing that I get superstitious and I won't leave the house. It's dangerous to work by yourself, in your house, alone."
"We were only capable of doing it because we were financially stable before I started. I got laid off and I got a severance package, and I started doing this, and pretty soon we started selling merchandise."- Onstad
Ate key lime pieAt 41 yeas of age I realize I'm not going to do any of those things.
Watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: Can I take your order?
Me: Hi, I'd like to buy one six-piece Chicken Nugget™ Happy Meal™.
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: Boy toy or girl toy and what drink?
Me: Huh? Uh, I'll Have the Legion of Superheros™ toy, please. And apple juice.
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: Huh? Boy toy or girl toy?
Me: I'm reading this right off your menu, we want the "Legion of Superheros™" toy, thanks.
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: Do you have a boy or a girl?
Me: What does that matter? Your menu indicates that for this promotion period we get either the Build-A-Bear™ workshop or the Legion of Superheros™ toy with the Happy Meal™. My child wants the Legion of Superheors toy. It's completely irrelevant what sex child I have. In fact, maybe I don't have a child, maybe it's for my elderly grandmother or maybe it's for me. In fact, we were kind of thinking that maybe a boy could want the Build-A-Bear™ workshop and a girl could possibly, just possibly, want the Legion of Superheros™ toy. In fact, my child was really excited that you had the Legion of Superheros™ toy. We don't roll that way; boy stuff and girl stuff.
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: Hold on....
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: What kind of drink?
Me: Apple juice, please.
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: Anything else?
Me: Yes, we'll have one Fruit & Walnut snack™, please.
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: Fruit salad?
Me: No, I'm reading this verbatim from your menu, one "Fruit & Walnut snack™", thanks.
McDonalds™ Drive Thru: Five thirty-seven, next window, please.
"Three miles! That's how far they calculate they must go to be beyond the radius of incineration should anything go awry on the launch pad on which, I remind you, these insanely brave people are sitting. Would you not want to be a bit soused?"Today, I give it up for Chucky K.