My Incredible Life: Chapter 937 - Small Things

My morning -- at some point around 10:00:

1) I open up WFMU on the World Wide Web "browser" to start Tuesday's 'Best Show' featuring Tom Scharpling

2) I notice the Gmail notifier ("G" is for Google), see it's mail from Rich. I see the subject line is 'oh snap' - naturally, I am intrigued. But, first thing's first. There is an order to this life.

3) [So many goddamn windows open: Blogger, WFMU, notes, Real Player getting started, news. Mantra: there is an order to this life.]

4) Achewood's first in the queue. Ha! Very good stuff. Ray all ragin' about grocery store promotions. So far quite funny since I was just thinking about that stuff...like when the woman at Target (tm) asks me the obligatory, "do you want to save ten percent today?" Well, shit yeah I want to save money on this crap, but we
all know the punch line to that question, right? Sure I can save 10% but I'd have to get a stupid Target (tm) credit card. It's the lamest solicitation. Tired, in fact. In fact, it's so old I have a pre-prepared response: "Yes I do want to save ten percent on this purchase but I don't want your stupid [fill in the blank] credit card. However, I should still get the 10% discount for being subjected to your company's annoying and unwanted solicitation." Yes, that is usually met with stunned silence and a quick and quiet completion of the transaction. I know, they're just doing their job, but we the annoyed public should, no need, to have the front line staff report upward that people aren't responding positively to this aspect of their job.

Which reminds me that I also have to hear the "Do you have a bonus/discount/action/annoying card" at every single transaction from Barnes & Noble, CVS, Giant, wherever. No, no, no, no, no. Just let me buy the shit I dragged up here to buy. I am not going to carry everybody's stupid card with me or - even worse - attach them to my keys and look like a retarded corporate drone cheerleader (imagine the key ring with a dozen store "discount" tags as pom-pon, you get it). No, I keep my keys on my key ring. keys, nigga, keys!

But it saves you money, they say. And I say, "Well, there's more to life than you saving me money."


Anyway, I'm thinking that today's Achewood is all about being annoyed by the corporate establishment. I get it and I'm satisfied. In fact Achewood has been very good of late. All over the place but very nice. And it appears that I have to buy Beef's zine given the quality of the teaser (the sex issue).

No. No! But, hell no! We find out that today's Achewood is "Would Somebody Please Fuck Ray Friday" strip. Perhaps the funniest, most poignant strip -- dare I say -- ever! Jesus, that guy has a good brain.

5) I finish reading the strip and immediately think that I should comment to Rich about it, but wait, I bet he already has on in the queue (remember, "oh snap").

6) Open Gmail (by Google) and sure enough: "Onstad pushed it over the line today." Exactly.

7) I sit back and think, "Goddamn, I have an incredible life.... It's the small things."