Dear Sir

Honorable Senator George Allen
United States Senate
204 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510

(202) 224-4024

Dear Senator Allen,

Thank you so very much for welcoming me to America and to the real Virginia. I appreciate your kind welcome, sir. But, I am confused. I am a United States citizen. I was born in California (like you, correct?) and have lived in the DC metropolitan area for over 14 years.

While I have resided in Maryland, I believe I have ventured over the last decade and a half to the “real Virginia.” So, I’m a bit confused by your loud, creepy welcome. I know, I know, you’re a really busy guy and you meet so many people on your Listening Tour (where it seems you’re doing all the talking) that I’m sure you begin to confuse names and faces and personal histories. Funny thing is, since I’m the only dark-skinned guy at every stop, I really thought you knew me. But, maybe that’s just me being a little star-struck.

Anyway, I thank you for your service and wish you the very best on your campaign for reelection and your future bid for president of the United States of America.

Yours truly,

Macaca Jiggaboo McHeeb
Japtown, Maryland

Photo by: Paki VanWetback Wop