Every so often something small blows you away so immensely, that few word can do justice. I don’t know if this should be followed in any particular order, but my experience went as follows:


from 1:00:43 to 2:03:12



4) http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/review/2006/03/31/johnston/index.html

5) http://www.nypress.com/19/13/film/MattZollerSeitz.cfm

That’s it. You're completely on your own here. Obscure, obtuse, and insane.


Pregnant robin defiant
At 5:50 a.m.
Standing in the street

Suburban moms jogging
Like an LL Bean catalog come to life
If only for a couple of weeks


Is It Me?

Okay, is it me or is John Ashcroft playing the role of Viktor Yanukovychh? Maybe it's me.


Abortion - or Whatever, ask Bill

Ask Bill Napoli:

Those numbers still worked last I checked. Only ask if you're a woman though. Guys have it all together.

Record Review Roundup

Okay, I like music pretty much. In fact, I probably love music. In fact fact, I probably - in many ways - cold live for and because of music. I've made and continue to make music (or hodgepodges of sound). In many ways, music, it's my thang, Right? Me and music go way back to small times, like, we grew up together.

There are tons of records that I enjoy too; a diverse collection of stuff from Little Stevie Wonder to Busdriver to MC 900 Foot Jesus to Nirvana. Then there is another category that really get me going. The good shit; the stuff that makes me stand up and move or the stuff that breaks the neck off. Then, there's that exclusive category called, "fuck! why didn't I make that record?!" <-- and sometimes the word "couldn't" can be substituted for "didn't." I couldn't have made "Blueberry Boat" or "Lexington Pacheco." The envious category; the top of the heap.

I had heard a little about Liars (or is it "The Liars" I don't really care). Yeah, another band. So what, I'm up to my shins in bands. But, somehow I caught wind of "Drum's Not Dead" maybe in Pitchfork or something.

Fuck! Why didn't I make this record?! Or, more specifically, in this case, why didn't Big Dave Wave and I (in that order) make this record? Sure, there's the Kingdom of Leisure and it's one- and two-offs; the knucklehead, small distribution stuff no one is supposed to "get." Shit's hella fucked-up too. But, "Drum's Not Dead?" Inspired. I even ordered the CD, didn't just download it or nothing. And it comes with a DVD that, if the music is any indication, is wicked nutty. Note: somebody remind me to watch the DVD because I'll forget all about it.

I know, I'm not telling you what the record sounds like - I'm not giving you the Depeche Mode meets Led Zeppelin in a Eurobeat-Ween-funk way. That's not my job. I'm hearing crickets, I don't know who this sounds like. My ears hurt and my brain is suffering. It just sounds hella (wicked) right. Raw! Good and fucked-up. Real! I have a lot of good and perfect and pretty music. But, "good and fucked-up" is high praise. I'm now thinking Jason L., Big Dave Wave and me with Rich dropping by for a weekend just to swirl his "Hello Johnson" around while we all laugh. Oh, and Marcus has to be there too, but only if he wears that silly-ass Letter Carrier hat. Who else? I don't know who else, maybe the Bren on her new guitar. But, the door'll be open to whomever wants to either bring food or other treats. If you stick around long enough, you can get in on a track or two.

Oh, wait! I have made this record? It's the same record I've been doing for the last 10 years. Well, that explains why it makes so much sense.

Alls I'm saying is...if you're going to spend your money, get some good headphones, kids. Damn!

File under: duh!



"While homos and fashion editors battle every hour of aging like it’s an hour glass with a nuclear bomb at the end of it, some of us can’t wait to get older. Some of us can’t wait for that magical time when you give so little of a shit you wear a fanny pack because it’s practical, a Tupac shirt because you found it, and a matching rayon tracksuit top because, well, why the fuck not?"

Jimi Day

This morning, iPod really liked Jimi Hendrix. Within an hour I heard the following:

"Foxey Lady" - Hendrix
"Wait Until Tomorrow" - John Mayer
"Little Wing" - Sting
"Hear My Train A Comin'" - Hendrix

"Little Miss Strange" - Hendrix (sorry, Noel Redding)
"Love Or Confusion" - Hendrix



Plugged: Become the Ruling Body, Dude

They booed Dylan when he first plugged in...



The Offspring

So, the Bren has discovered a "magical" CD full of songs that she somehow loves. It's not the Wiggles nor is it other children's music.

At a mid-Pennsylvania truck stop I found a Cheap Trick greatest hits disc for, say, three bucks. I bought it. Well, I gave it away to a real Cheap Trick fan. The Bren was pissed! "Where Cheap Trick?!" So, the next time through we looked for another Cheap Trick disc, but none were available. So I told her, "Ahhh, here's one!" This was the SNL 25th Anniversary of music performances or some crap. Or, as Bren says, "Cheap Trick CD!"

Well, turns out she loves the live performances on this disc: Paul Simon (from the Graceland period), Sting (featuring, to my benefit Vinny Colaiuta). Okay, here's the kicker: we now have to listen to - instead of the Wiggles' "Point Your Fingers (and do the twist) - we listen to Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way" over and over.

Okay, the kid can rock. What more can a dad ask for?



"What, Libertarians are like, what, Republicans who want to smoke pot."

-Tom Sharpling

My Patriotic Duty

"An unidentified relative mourns over the bodies of his family members, killed in U.S. raid, as they arrive in a hospital in Tikrit, 130 kilometers (80 miles) north of Baghdad, Iraq, Wednesday, March 15, 2006. Eleven people, most of them women and children were killed when a house was bombed during a U.S. raid north of Baghdad early Wednesday, police and relatives said. The U.S. military acknowledged four deaths in the raid that they said netted an insurgent suspect in the rural Isahaqi area, about 80 kilometers (50 miles) north of the capital. " (AP)

[I stand without comment]


Maybe it Was Floyd?

Claude Allen has an identical twin brother.

This scheme didn't even work on The Brady Bunch.

Three Links...

...because I'm too lazy to have original thoughts today (oh, and it's suddenly spring out my window):

1) Maybe the neocons are blindingly brilliant: "Newsflash" Rants & Cigarettes

2) New A-pos-tro-phe

3) Dang, this is slummin': Mike Davis' new book


Thanks Claude Allen; Thanks a Lot

Open letter to the people of the city of Gaithersburg, Maryland (my city of residence), the Gaithersburg Police Department, the Montgomery County Police Department, Target Stores, Hects, and people who hold stereotypes against black people everywhere.

Hi, I am not Claude Allen. Sure, we shop at (and in his case allegedly commit fraud against) the same Target store in Gaithersburg. We are both what you call "light skinned, articulate Negroes," and we both live in affluent communities and shop with credit cards, but I am not Claude Allen.

On Claude Allen

Montgomery County Police Press Release

We are vastly different: I am not a republican. I am not conservative. I believe we have a responsibility to teach our kids how to not make themselves pregnant. I have no problem with what you call "the queers" or "the radical feminists." I've never been a member of the Bush II White House. I've never served as W's chief domestic policy advisor nor have I worked as an aide to Jesse Helms. I'm just a regular workin' guy.

I'm pretty happy, personally, that you didn't get seated on the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals though. But brothaman, I am pretty surprised you had to give it all up and embarrass the hell out of all of us coloreds all at the same time with some (allegations of) petty shit like retail fraud. Dude, what were you thinking?

Dang! Now, when I shop at our Target, I have to feel the presence of security and hear the whirring of pivoting cameras because of you - since we basically fit the same profile. I don't like being followed around when I shop, it makes me feel uneasy and unequal and kind of second class. But, thanks to your little situation, I fear my upper-middle class cred is shredded. My bootstraps are all in knots (over these allegations, of course).

So to everyone everywhere, hi, I'm not Claude Allen. It's just me, Ty. Please trust me not to steal or try to defraud you. I'm just shoppin', man! I'm guessing that Claude either cannot, by order, go back to that Target or have been advised to not go there, so I hope that when I show up to buy some underwear or floss nobody mistakes us. It would pain me horribly to be confused with someone accused of committing a crime.

Three Things

1) Weather: Do I have to write this every quarter? I'm not really interested in discussing the weather. It's there, sometimes it's interesting, but I'm not going to substitute comments about the obvious as any sort of meaningful conversation. I don't care. Now, you are welcome to engage me on a myriad of topics: music, politics, nanobiobots, ethics, religion, anything <-- and these are easy topics (except for nanobiobots). But, the weather, don't depress me with your lowly banter; I can see the sun and my brain has processed that it's hot.

2) Democrats: Where to start? Where do I line up to quit in shame and humiliation with shit all over my shoes? With everything the current administration is doing, how on earth is it the democrats have absolutely no traction toward making meaningful change? I'm sure dems don't "hate America" but they sure forgot what the hell America is. I'm fairly sure the Three Stooges were democrats (at least they played democrats on the TeeVee. In real life, they were probably savvy enough to form cogent thoughts and develop strategies - as is evident of their successful entertainment enterprise). And they're calling me for more money? For what? What the hell did you do with the money I gave you? I want a receipt. Until the democrats can dial up 1-800-Get-A-Spine (maybe I'll send them a pre-paid calling card), I'm sticking with: I don't care. Sure I am fully opposed to the philosophies and practices of republicans, but at least they COMPETE and WIN. Me? I'm stuck with suckers and losers.

3) NCAA Tourny: Strike three: sorry, I don't care. Don't ask me about any silly ass brackets. See weather.



...convinced her that a TIGER bike was about a thousand times cooler than a pink bike with white tires and BUTTERFLIES. "Butterflies don't roar" and white tires "get really dirty."

Joy is a child's first "real" bike.

Joy is a parent with cool kid.





Torn, Part 8

Food for Over-Thought

"Of course, it's conceivable I've over-thought this. I've been known to do that in the past."

- Malcolm Gladwell




Torn, Part 5

Torn, Part 4

Torn, Part 3

Sharing Is Caring (and a side note)

Today, I shared some tea:

"Thank you. The leaves have become huge, like swaying forests of kelp at the bottom of my mug."

[side note: today the iPod prefered Guns N' Roses for some reason]

Goddamn Internet(s)!

Step 1: Stare bleakly at table with depressing "celebratory" Safeway turkey, Christian Brothers brandy, and plastic spork. [No-doz nowhere to be found]

Step 2
: Realize that your life has fallen so far that this constitutes celebration, brandy-sporking included.

Step 3: Self-inflicted gunshot wound.