from 1:00:43 to 2:03:12
That’s it. You're completely on your own here. Obscure, obtuse, and insane.
At 5:50 a.m.
Standing in the street
Suburban moms jogging
Like an LL Bean catalog come to life
If only for a couple of weeks
There are tons of records that I enjoy too; a diverse collection of stuff from Little Stevie Wonder to Busdriver to MC 900 Foot Jesus to Nirvana. Then there is another category that really get me going. The good shit; the stuff that makes me stand up and move or the stuff that breaks the neck off. Then, there's that exclusive category called, "fuck! why didn't I make that record?!" <-- and sometimes the word "couldn't" can be substituted for "didn't." I couldn't have made "Blueberry Boat" or "Lexington Pacheco." The envious category; the top of the heap.
I had heard a little about Liars (or is it "The Liars" I don't really care). Yeah, another band. So what, I'm up to my shins in bands. But, somehow I caught wind of "Drum's Not Dead" maybe in Pitchfork or something.
Fuck! Why didn't I make this record?! Or, more specifically, in this case, why didn't Big Dave Wave and I (in that order) make this record? Sure, there's the Kingdom of Leisure and it's one- and two-offs; the knucklehead, small distribution stuff no one is supposed to "get." Shit's hella fucked-up too. But, "Drum's Not Dead?" Inspired. I even ordered the CD, didn't just download it or nothing. And it comes with a DVD that, if the music is any indication, is wicked nutty. Note: somebody remind me to watch the DVD because I'll forget all about it.
I know, I'm not telling you what the record sounds like - I'm not giving you the Depeche Mode meets Led Zeppelin in a Eurobeat-Ween-funk way. That's not my job. I'm hearing crickets, I don't know who this sounds like. My ears hurt and my brain is suffering. It just sounds hella (wicked) right. Raw! Good and fucked-up. Real! I have a lot of good and perfect and pretty music. But, "good and fucked-up" is high praise. I'm now thinking Jason L., Big Dave Wave and me with Rich dropping by for a weekend just to swirl his "Hello Johnson" around while we all laugh. Oh, and Marcus has to be there too, but only if he wears that silly-ass Letter Carrier hat. Who else? I don't know who else, maybe the Bren on her new guitar. But, the door'll be open to whomever wants to either bring food or other treats. If you stick around long enough, you can get in on a track or two.
Oh, wait! I have made this record? It's the same record I've been doing for the last 10 years. Well, that explains why it makes so much sense.
Alls I'm saying is...if you're going to spend your money, get some good headphones, kids. Damn!
File under: duh!
"Foxey Lady" - Hendrix
"Wait Until Tomorrow" - John Mayer
"Little Wing" - Sting
"Hear My Train A Comin'" - Hendrix
"Little Miss Strange" - Hendrix (sorry, Noel Redding)
"Love Or Confusion" - Hendrix
At a mid-Pennsylvania truck stop I found a Cheap Trick greatest hits disc for, say, three bucks. I bought it. Well, I gave it away to a real Cheap Trick fan. The Bren was pissed! "Where Cheap Trick?!" So, the next time through we looked for another Cheap Trick disc, but none were available. So I told her, "Ahhh, here's one!" This was the SNL 25th Anniversary of music performances or some crap. Or, as Bren says, "Cheap Trick CD!"
Well, turns out she loves the live performances on this disc: Paul Simon (from the Graceland period), Sting (featuring, to my benefit Vinny Colaiuta). Okay, here's the kicker: we now have to listen to - instead of the Wiggles' "Point Your Fingers (and do the twist) - we listen to Lenny Kravitz "Are You Gonna Go My Way" over and over.
Okay, the kid can rock. What more can a dad ask for?
[I stand without comment]
Open letter to the people of the city of Gaithersburg, Maryland (my city of residence), the Gaithersburg Police Department, the Montgomery County Police Department, Target Stores, Hects, and people who hold stereotypes against black people everywhere.
Hi, I am not Claude Allen. Sure, we shop at (and in his case allegedly commit fraud against) the same Target store in Gaithersburg. We are both what you call "light skinned, articulate Negroes," and we both live in affluent communities and shop with credit cards, but I am not Claude Allen.
We are vastly different: I am not a republican. I am not conservative. I believe we have a responsibility to teach our kids how to not make themselves pregnant. I have no problem with what you call "the queers" or "the radical feminists." I've never been a member of the Bush II White House. I've never served as W's chief domestic policy advisor nor have I worked as an aide to Jesse Helms. I'm just a regular workin' guy.
I'm pretty happy, personally, that you didn't get seated on the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals though. But brothaman, I am pretty surprised you had to give it all up and embarrass the hell out of all of us coloreds all at the same time with some (allegations of) petty shit like retail fraud. Dude, what were you thinking?
Dang! Now, when I shop at our Target, I have to feel the presence of security and hear the whirring of pivoting cameras because of you - since we basically fit the same profile. I don't like being followed around when I shop, it makes me feel uneasy and unequal and kind of second class. But, thanks to your little situation, I fear my upper-middle class cred is shredded. My bootstraps are all in knots (over these allegations, of course).
So to everyone everywhere, hi, I'm not Claude Allen. It's just me, Ty. Please trust me not to steal or try to defraud you. I'm just shoppin', man! I'm guessing that Claude either cannot, by order, go back to that Target or have been advised to not go there, so I hope that when I show up to buy some underwear or floss nobody mistakes us. It would pain me horribly to be confused with someone accused of committing a crime.
2) Democrats: Where to start? Where do I line up to quit in shame and humiliation with shit all over my shoes? With everything the current administration is doing, how on earth is it the democrats have absolutely no traction toward making meaningful change? I'm sure dems don't "hate America" but they sure forgot what the hell America is. I'm fairly sure the Three Stooges were democrats (at least they played democrats on the TeeVee. In real life, they were probably savvy enough to form cogent thoughts and develop strategies - as is evident of their successful entertainment enterprise). And they're calling me for more money? For what? What the hell did you do with the money I gave you? I want a receipt. Until the democrats can dial up 1-800-Get-A-Spine (maybe I'll send them a pre-paid calling card), I'm sticking with: I don't care. Sure I am fully opposed to the philosophies and practices of republicans, but at least they COMPETE and WIN. Me? I'm stuck with suckers and losers.
3) NCAA Tourny: Strike three: sorry, I don't care. Don't ask me about any silly ass brackets. See weather.
...convinced her that a TIGER bike was about a thousand times cooler than a pink bike with white tires and BUTTERFLIES. "Butterflies don't roar" and white tires "get really dirty."
Joy is a child's first "real" bike.
Joy is a parent with cool kid.
"Thank you. The leaves have become huge, like swaying forests of kelp at the bottom of my mug."
[side note: today the iPod prefered Guns N' Roses for some reason]
Step 2: Realize that your life has fallen so far that this constitutes celebration, brandy-sporking included.
Step 3: Self-inflicted gunshot wound.